（高潮）
唯一能治愈的 唯一能唤醒的东西
就是连接
我觉得我们这个国家 确实存在着愉悦赤字的问题
速度越来越快 我们的世界愈加紧密连接
但人类间的连接开始瓦解
但我认为这是有解决方案的
而解法就是
女性的性高潮
（TEDx旧金山 妮可·黛顿性高潮：饥渴的解药）
（播放量）
大家好 我是妮可·黛顿
我是“一品人生”市静修中心创始人
她对我来说真的像明星一样 我将她的TED演讲看了30遍
我有一个愿景
在未来 你会看到瑜伽 冥想 性高潮
三者融为一体
欢迎来到高潮奥义快闪店
这里是高潮奥义
耶
再见
人们开始源源不断地涌来
前仆后继
这就是我喜欢住在硅谷的原因之一
你在这座城里能想象到的任何选择
重点是探索高潮和愉悦
和另一个人类一起 并且感到放得开和安全
每个女人都应该知道 她可以够感受到这一点
（“私处的荣光！” 我的高潮冥想觉醒中）
我更清楚自己的力量和性爱
接下来 我们就被 邀请加入了各大科技圈
她希望招来一些 由性感时尚男女组成的精英群体
我是个孤独的书呆子
“一品人生”为我打开了通往一个 我根本不敢想象的世界的大门
那种感觉在我一生中驱使着我
寻求或试图发出连接 不论是在恋爱或性爱
或者其他方面 就好像…
“就是这样”
它从乌托邦变成了地狱
她对能让别人做出什么事感到很着迷
那是她不为人知的兴奋点
人们不停地受伤
有的人受到严重伤害
她还以为自己在拯救世界
拿着别人的钱 却玩弄着他们的感情
欢迎来到地狱
当提到高潮时
我发现它和互联网 有着相同的根本目标
那就是人与人之间的连接
“一品人生”是一个 快速上升的创业公司
专营健康、保养和性领域
这是由妮可·黛顿创办的
我花了很多时间去思考妮可这个人
我觉得她是一个很有手段的能人
她似乎很懂人们会喜欢什么
人们想听一个女人说的话
人们想看到像她这样的女人 在这样的公司里当最高层的老大
这真的是由女性主导的
根据“一品人生”所传授的理念 我觉得这是非常重要的一点
高潮冥想能让你与自己、与伴侣连接
在你的身体里探索更多
我在肢体上更能亲近他人 对更强烈的情感也不再那么害怕
它教会了我去索求我想要的
说出那些可能会让人害怕的脆弱的话
在基础层面上 我们都有相同的欲求
我们想爱 被爱 看见 被看见
清楚自己的目的 感受连接
他多大了? 妮可很有说服力
她可以让身边的人感到放松…
爱你们 生日快乐！
她的天赋就是设立 一个让大家感到兴奋的愿景
并自愿为帮助实现此愿景而做各种事
大家花些时间感受一下自己身在何处
以及今晚到达现场的其他人
也许可以注意一下 “我等下想跟那个人聊聊”
发生接触
也许你在避开接触
注意
一些规律
女人和恋爱对我来说一直都是个谜
我不知道怎么才能找到女朋友
但我想做爱
感觉就有点美中不足了 你懂吗?
我听说过“一品人生”
后来 我那时候的一个朋友说
“我们要去‘一品人生’ 参加一个小活动”
“你想跟我们一起去吗?”
大楼在福尔松路1074号
我们走进去 看到一个很大的开放空间
大家都在放松 闲聊 就是
像一个鸡尾酒会一样
充满着温暖、友好的氛围
这对当时的我来说 感觉很奇怪 甚至有点可疑
我习惯了 科技界的鸡尾酒会
场上的所有人都是孑然一身
但这里是完全不一样的
温暖 开放 友好 而坐我旁边的人
让你感受到了一种存在感
我看了看她 说了声“噢”
因为在网站上可以看到 “一品人生”创始人的照片
妮可·黛顿
我就说 “噢 原来你就是妮可”
然后我们就开始聊天
探讨将性欲和灵性相结合的想法
我觉得没什么是…
重要过让我的身体感觉如此良好
好到让我产生美好的感觉
那种美好的感觉能跟随你
我们可以开始把它传递给彼此
当我们感觉良好时 神奇的是 我们就会表现得很好
所以在我看来 我们真正需要 去做的事 就是让自己活得开心
开心到让这种感觉溢出你的心 把超过一人份的开心分给他人
所以我想用任何可能的方式和你分享
面对强烈的感觉会发生的事
就是你的心会想要走向极好或极差
我们对性的追求也是如此
它要么美丽可爱
要么肮脏邪恶
但我们不知道如何
在动态的现实中维持在两极之间
你好
我们在重新定义什么是高潮
你在墙上看到的一切 都是刚刚别人走进来写下的
他们对性高潮对理解
“一品人生”会举办一些低调的小活动
工作人员会散发出幸福感或吸引力
他们邀请你跟他们一起瑜伽
邀请你跟他们一起筹办另一场活动
你就会因此陷进去
高潮很美妙 高潮棒极了 高潮改变了我的生活
和我玩的这些快乐友善的人们
他们不仅都是一个组织的 他们还生活在一起
“一品人生”超厉害！
欢迎来到旧金山“一品人生”
我带你们去参观一下大楼 进来吧
这是艾丽西亚 她负责做高潮发型
嗨各位 你们好
天啊 她的手法
这里在上瑜伽课
也许我们可以悄悄看一眼
禁止拍摄
这是我们仓库的前面
现在有点乱
谁把衣服放在这里了?
这是我们一切活动的中心
我开始在网上看帖子 我看到有个网上讨论区
人们会在这里发布关于性癖的消息
比如三人行 四人行 群交
（“一品人生”海滩派对）
某某跟某某亲热了
某某看别人亲热
我就感觉“什么世道 这不是真的吧?”
“这肯定都是演的 这不可能发生啊
即使是真的 他们也不会让我参加”
但后来发现 没错 这是真的
前一天晚上我还在船上独自生活
后一天晚上我就和40个人住在仓库里
和我的“研究搭档”同床共枕
我可以白天是个书呆子技术宅
修复人们的电脑问题
然后我晚上回家
你懂的 就是参与到一片疯狂当中
欢迎来到“一品人生”
说说看 你是怎么做到的 艾丽西亚? 你是如何保持性感的?
我用的是爱茉莉护理洁面泡沫
这就是你的秘密吗? 我以为是高潮冥想呢
我也高潮冥想…
我每天高潮冥想 并且用爱茉莉
我高潮冥想 还戒糖
而且我总是说实话
自称高潮冥想的践行者意味着什么?
为了简单起见 我用一个男人 和一个女人举例子
这样我就可以说“他”和“她”
但实际上 可以是各种疯狂的组合
妮可肯定是个天才
取名为“高潮冥想课程” 是个很棒的主意
高潮冥想
因为有很多追求者 有很多精神追求者分布在湾区
以及世界各地
你把性爱练习变成了灵魂修炼
她会躺下的
她的头下面有一个枕头
两条腿下面都各有一个枕头
她会展开双腿
然后他会把手指 放在她阴蒂的左上角
左上角是科学家们发现的一个点
上面有一堆神经末梢
有人说八千个 有人说八十万个 我不知道具体的数字是多少
但除了愉悦之外 他们找不到任何
能解释其存在的原因
唯一阻止你成功找对位置的
就是希望自己找对了位置 不确定自己是否找对了位置
“什么位置? 我永远也 找不到那个位置 不可能的”
那恰恰是阻止你
用人类的自然直觉 感觉这种小小的 轻微的触电感…
你会知道的 因为她会表现出…
她绝对不会以任何方式
移动她的髋部
她不会发出奇怪的呻吟
她就是我们所谓的“被搞定了”
所以你要往上 往下
往上 往下…
我接下来要说什么? “往上 往下”
没错 持续15分钟
就这么简单
那个男人如果技巧到位 他就会说
“你的阴唇开始湿了
呈现出粉色 珊瑚色 深红色”
“开始肿起来了”这个词他们经常用
这能帮助维持性奋 叠加快感
又轻又快地撩拨会把人挑逗得性奋
缓慢而有力的撩拨则会让人沉静下来
所以 你先把他们撩拨起来 然后再让他们平稳下来
再撩拨起来 再平稳下来
这就是如何达到
你在身体里所感受到的另一个维度
当你做爱时 这也是可以达到的
也许你能瞥见
或是你在高潮中突然 脑内闪过什么 但实际上什么也没有…
这就是你如何让高潮持续存在的方式
抚摸练习非常厉害
对我来说 作为人类
把注意力放在食指上的一个小地方
抚摸女人的阴蒂 只是拨弄着…
从这以后 对于一个男人来说 这打开了许多新通的大门
我此前从来不知道那是我能触及的
她的脚趾会扭动
我的指尖也会感受到一点激动
那一刻 我感觉到了连接
然后我感觉 “什么?这怎么可能?”
所以这些是练习中才能显现出来的
当然 我刚开始的时候手足无措
光是能碰到阴蒂就已经很幸运了
这里的男人说
“我只想多做爱”
“拜托 求求你了”
他们没意识到自己已经身处 一大群想要性爱的女人之中
所以 他们每天会做约20次高潮冥想
他们的手指都快残了
现在他们就把自己关在房间里
“妮可 把我弄出去吧 拜托 我不想再做爱了！”
我跟旧金山的科技宅们很相似
都很渴望正常的肉体间的吸引
“一品人生”打开了这个 亲密关系和连接世界的大门
她贩卖的是与你的性欲相关的创新
湾区的人都会被这类理念吸引
对此保持开放的心态
而且坦白说 他们也更有可能 拥有额外的钱来买这种
他对我说 “我现在要对你 描述你的阴部 可以吗?”
我记得当时在想 以前从来没有人这么对我做过
感觉好像有人触碰了
我内心的最深处
我觉得自己很暴露也很脆弱
我当时在想 “天啊
我觉得我这辈子从来没有
跟任何一个人这么亲密过”
我跟很多认为高潮冥想 改变了他们人生的人聊过
他们说这帮助了他们获得了性快感
他们以为这对他们来说是难以触及的
尤其是有些女人说:“我从没获得过性高潮
这帮我重新定义 性快感对我来说意味着什么”
“你知道 我曾经觉得是我有问题
但现在发现 事实恰恰相反
这让我开始接受自己的身体 而不是对自己感到羞耻”
我第一次了解高潮冥想
是我看了一个高潮冥想的展示
我记得那天晚上…
就像是…
手指找到了那个地方
我感觉 “我好像全身都舒展开了”
太美了
谢谢 嗯
描述一下你的性爱
胆小 害羞
有时候会令人沮丧 但我觉得我来对地方了
我在“一品人生”的四年生活和工作中
我在某种程度上变得更放松 更敢社交 我觉得大家都看得见
我开始接受工作时男性对我的关注
我对他们变得更友善 我的事业也上升了
我想应该是因为我在“一品人生”里 对男人有了更多的了解吧 你懂的
他们真的鼓励我们去看到
男人那柔软 敏感 情绪化的一面
这是我们称为中心的大楼 1074号
那是我们白天经常待的地方
楼上是瑜伽室 也是大教室
我们每天早上都在这里练习
然后是1060号
这里是仓库
我一直很喜欢这种 红门背后令人惊喜的感觉
这里是BDSM地牢 也是游玩的场地
我记得我第一次上床 就在这边的角落里面
后来我在这里又做了一次
我当时好像还在这里睡过
我在阁楼上
10 12 13 15…
至少15张床
我记得我搬进来的第一晚
真的很疯狂
我的身体里充满了能量
这里都是充满活力的人
你懂的 在这里探索性爱
我妈妈在我13岁时去世了
一个13岁的孩子是没办法准备好
面对那种经历 或者是失去一个如此亲近的人
所以我觉得 在某种程度上 我是在学习如何与女性连接
这样我就可以让别人走进我的生活
而不会感到一种揪心的依恋
我是硅谷的一名软件工程师
我各方面都很成功 除了情感生活
我就像个行走的百科全书
收录了各种让异性下头的反面教材
我在“一品人生”有几个不同的绰号
其中一个是尤达 我觉得部分原因是我的身材
我身高一米52
我身高是五英尺
在某种程度上这是好事 因为
我是一个反例 可以告诉男人们 你不一定得长成某种模样
才能和女性拥有良好的恋爱关系
我们处在一个女性能自给自足的时代
她们不再需要男人来保护她们
或者是爱护她们 照顾她们
所以男人能做什么?
女人想要的是一个真正平等对待她
而且随时可以一起寻欢的人
我觉得“一品人生”就是可以
真正推进人与人之间连接
并且研究人际关系的地方
比如 当你和某人一起时 十分脆弱 那会发生什么?
当你比任何时候 都真诚时 会发生什么?
当你把阴蒂暴露出来时会发生什么?
这些事让人们避之不及 只是因为它们实在是太吓人了
但这正是人们需要面对的地方
这样才能获得真实深刻的人际连接
你最应该抛弃的就是一种
对自己的内心深处 是否会被触碰到的绝望感
她的TED演讲视频 我大概重看了20到30次
我真的觉得她讲到的内容触动了我
就是它不只是为了性
而是实在的连接和真实感
你可以和另一个人一起
获得最深远和深刻的体验
把注意力放在别人身上有一种魔力
而不是总是专注于 你的需求和你的目标…
通过“一品人生”的高潮冥想
我们学会了如何把 注意力放在别人的感受上
基本上就是同理心
但不只是“我能感觉到你开心或悲伤”
而是我能感觉到你此刻觉得我在骗人
或者是我能感觉到你退缩的那一刻
精准且具有同理心
在帮助他们 帮助别人时 你的感觉是非常良好的
我们的生活就像是MTV的节目
区别是我们的生活 在现实生活中实时发生
我很感激生活如此有趣
在高中时 我的焦虑几乎害了我
我20出头时 学会了戴上面具
我还是有焦虑症
但大多数时候 我还是感觉很糟糕
所以在一个能保持真我的地方
对我来说简直就是救命良药
我们要做三次练习
我的第一堂课上 前半天都是妮可给大家讲话
给他们即兴的指导 就是我们所说的“撩拨”
那真的是 改变三观
她竟可以用这么高的 准确度 迅速地看透一个人
如果你愿意的话
它可能会改变你的生活 给你一个新的观察角度
她会说:“你来这里的目的是什么?”
对一些人 她会说“谢谢” 然后继续
当轮到我时 我开始说一些俗套的话
“性很有趣 所以我报名了这堂课”
我可以看到她已经准备离开我了
好像那不是个好答案 所以她要换下一个人
然后 我就脱口而出:“我想真正地和人建立连接”
她又回到我身边 我感觉 你懂的…
很高兴能引起她的注意
最终我们的目标是 创造一个永久的会面空间
所以不管她被困在这里时有多疯狂
她知道我能进入其中
她看了看我 说:“我知道你为什么不和人连接了”
“就好像你刻意锁定 某个范围内的人一样”
“你很舒适 但同时 你也拒绝了其他类型的人”
“你装成帅气的兄弟会男孩 嘴上说着一切都很酷
但其实你是一个黑暗危险的男人”
从来没有人 这样对我说话
我不知道她是真的看透了我
还是说她说的东西是我想听到的
但这是别人对我说过的 最能引起我灵魂共鸣的话
我确实觉得我在人前摆出一副面孔
但我内心很愤怒 很沮丧 你知道 我内心很黑暗
简直是改变了我的人生 这还是发生在我高潮冥想之前
我克服了被看见的恐惧
一种我有生以来对脆弱的恐惧
嘿 你想高潮冥想吗?
好
好 我只做过一两次
没关系
什么时候比较好?
如果不忙 现在就行
好了 来吧
“一品人生”我们的目标是 把这个东西推向世界 对吧?
我很快就发现了 我可以
拍视频 讲述一些小故事
然后很快 我们就获得了媒体关注
这才是你真正要学的 取悦女性私处的手法
没错 我们刚刚说的是 “如何取悦女性私处”
妮可想立刻利用这点
所以这成为了我的存在理由…
最终也成为我真正的存在理由
我辞掉了工作 来给“一品人生”当剪辑师
“你的性爱不是问题”
“我们在错误的范式中生活了太久了”
如果你能学会如何成为私处大师呢?
今天我们要讨论的是 为什么如果你学会了
给女人15分钟高潮 人们会更加快乐
（-我买的第三本 我总是忍不住送人 -每个男人的必读物）
如果你们都不知道妮可的 第一本书是5月25日发行的话
《慢性爱：女性高潮的艺与技》
而且得到了非常好的评价和宣传
就在这个周末 妮可在 TEDx旧金山上给750人演讲…
这一做法引起了记者们的极大兴趣
人们觉得:“高潮冥想? 那是什么?”
15分钟?
15分钟
那真是好多高潮啊
好多高潮 对
“一品人生”都市静修处 可不是普通的瑜伽中心
女人们的裤子一脱 很快瑜伽室里就迸发出女性的狂喜
妮可知道 不能搞得这么怪
你懂的 而且它必须变得更健康
更多关于女性赋权的事
他们开始在 洛杉矶 纽约 伦敦设立办公室
他们开始向国际拓展…
数据十分吓人
30％的女性自称 无论如何也无法达到性高潮
在2013年和2014年 他们举办了这些会议
周末的会议有成千上万的参加者
谢谢你来OMX！
他们开始通过卖课赚更多的钱
“一品人生”一度开始销售会员
价格大概是五万美元以上
这样 不管客户是谁 都可以在一整年里上任何课程
到了2017年
公司有大约1200万美元的收入
那一年他们被“公司”杂志 列入快速增长的初创公司名单
这反映了妮可想让 “一品人生”成为主流的欲望
我是格温妮丝·帕特洛
您正在收听的是Goop播客
今天的嘉宾是很有魅力的 妮可·黛顿 她是一个…
“一品人生”吸引了有影响力的人物
尤其是格温妮丝·帕特洛
她不仅在好莱坞有影响力
她本人也是个健康之神
妮可也是《慢性爱》的作者
这本书我也经常推荐给
在恋爱关系中寻找更多欲望的女性
我真的想知道她是不是 想模仿山达基教的创始人
“我们找一些名人来”
那是山达基教的创始人 所创造出的许多奇迹之一
那就是名人的力量
“如果我们可以找来影星 歌手
以及那类人来帮我们公开背书
天 那我们肯定会 对普通人有着致命吸引力”
而且他说得很对
所以我也看到她跟着那个路线走
在2017年末
一位从事通讯工作的女士联系了我
她说:“我们可以通电话吗?”
“我有个故事 您可能会感兴趣”
“这是一家由女性经营的 健康领域的快速成长公司
名字叫‘一品人生’”
而这是在 2017年 当时 #MeToo 运动也如火如荼地进行着
我记得她当时说的是：
“这个公司能帮人们
彼此相互连接 从而帮助减轻
我们在#MeToo运动中 所见到过的一些痛苦
因为它能帮助人们 对彼此的需求更加敏感”
我跟我的一个朋友提到 我在考虑写关于“一品人生”的内容
我的朋友说:“我知道你该跟谁聊了”
“他们以前是这家公司的客户
他们有过很糟糕的体验”
所以我跟这些人聊了好几个小时
倾听他们的故事
最后 我心想：
“哇 这跟目前所有
跟‘一品人生’相关的报道截然相反
这可能是个大新闻”
当你看着妮可的时候
你看着妮可 而她回头看看你
她盯着你的眼睛
就像是你被她直击灵魂的注视看透了
包括灵魂里的一切 恶心的 其他的 尤其是恶心
当你在这个凝视之中被接纳了
同时像在显微镜下一样被拆解观察
于是她开始和我玩这个欲望拉扯游戏
她说:“你想要什么?”
所以她是在钓… 她要把欲望都勾出来 所以我说：
“我想要更多性爱 更多的高潮 更多的乐趣 更多的社群”
然后她说:“拜托 还有呢?” 就是这样
然后我终于说到我的心腹深处 到子宫那么深：
“哇” 我从未如此大声说出来过：
“我想要个孩子”
然后我…
她就说:“别急 还有什么?”
我说:“就这样”
“还有什么?”
最后我说:“好吧 我想来一次展示”
演示就是一个女人 在高潮中停留一小时的示范
妮可说…她环顾四周
“都听到了吗? 我们终于挖到底了”
“就是这样 那是最底层的欲望”
所以我在这些人面前说出了
我想要一次展示
但我很清楚 那并非我最深处的欲望
那是妮可的愿望
所以我在妮可面前完全缴械投降了
他们鼓励我们做的那种个人反思
都是为了找到你内心深处的欲望
但他们会用这种复杂的心理问题
把他们的欲望植入你心里 并且告诉你 那是你的欲望
你真正的愿望是什么?
你真正的渴望是什么? 什么能让你的私处性奋?
我想在“一品人生”做教练和老师
该死 太棒了
“妮可就是这样操纵人心的
如果某件事是她想听到的 她就会同意这是真的欲望
如果你说了她不喜欢的话 她会说那是谎言
或者‘那不是你最深处的欲望’”
“如果你有任何犹豫 她知道如何加深你的猜疑
直到她所说的真相 最终让你信以为真”
比尔和我给妮可花了一万五千美元
据妮可说 当时是一笔很划算的交易
我的课程也开始了
（女性高潮）
很多人都跟我说了他们
第一次了解“一品人生”时 所参加的活动
或许是关于公司的一次营销活动 或许是参加什么课程
我会让我们的一位 销售助理琳赛上来谈谈
你们今晚出席活动所获得的特价优惠
线上活动也包括在内
然后 营销活动越做越大
“你为什么不上这周的强化课?”
“来跟妮可学习 或者来帮我们教课”
“你为什么不来帮我们做销售?”
我们需要举办入学典礼之类的
我们需要一些能让他们沦陷的东西
让他们整个周末都在这里 参加全程
瑞秋会推销一万五千美元的培训项目
当时我是一个自由撰稿人 只能勉强维持生计
但不知为何 能和她见面 进行销售谈话的感觉太好了
我一开始就跟她说:“我没有钱 什么都买不了”
她却会让我感觉很好 能和她一起出去玩 聊聊我的生活
就像我和妮可的经历一样
事后我感觉很好 感觉被看到了
所以当她问我:“你想参加培训项目吗?”
“我们可以帮你办理我们的付款计划”
我还没反应过来 就把信用卡给了她
所以我给了她这张信用卡
每个月一千美元 迅速让我负债累累
后来我不得不合理化这份支出 这也让我陷得更深了
有人跟我描述过这种销售策略
我们用的沟通策略类似于热板凳
有人在中间被问了一堆问题
在后排 “一品人生”的员工负责记录
他们会记下“这个人最近离婚了”
“这个男人不知道怎么接近女人”
然后 他们制定策略 选出最合适的“一品人生”员工
派去和这个客户对接 并说服他们
想象你来找我 说:“好吧 我对‘一品人生’很感兴趣
因为我难以维持一段长期关系”
我会问你一些问题 比如
“你能想象你的下半生都是如此吗?”
让痛苦变得更大
这样你提供的解决方案就更吸引人了
妮可很擅长看破人们的痛处
这就是她下刀的地方
然后化身为治疗伤口的药膏
所以当你在她面前时 你感觉不到伤痛
但你会依赖于她的指引
除此之外 还有一种非常强烈的联系
一边是你在“一品人生”时 精神上的良好状态
另一边是你卖课的能力
他们真的看到了这一层联系 并认为
一个更性奋的女人能更好地推销课程
因为他们会向顾客释放自己的性奋
就像是连通了这种神圣的力量
就能帮你完成一笔交易
“我是个兴奋的小穴
感受和品味我身上的每一次撩拨
带着力量和爱返回人间”
我们应该要说说阴茎
谈谈粗俗的性
因为那很性感 那也是我们 在“一品人生”试图去做的事情
你知道 它能让人性奋
当他们的肚子里产生颤动时
当你说“阴茎”或“小穴”时
但这其实可能会让人们难堪
我不知道这是让人性奋还是不舒服
（妮可展示“高潮再平衡”）
有一次 妮可说：
“我们要教的这个东西叫高潮再平衡”
她还展示了什么是高潮再平衡
你可以从视频中看到
差不多像灵气一般 能量在你的身体里流转
这个录像…我很久没看了 但我还是敢说 它太疯狂了
我立刻被妮可俘获了
我以为她只是很有魅力
但我也看得出她是个奸商
展开说说 妮可·黛顿是骗子吗?
对
但你得把这个词切开
意思是“自信”
比如说 她说话的方式很热情
她对这方面的知识非常丰富 是一个出色的推销员
（公开高潮展示 “展示” 是“一品人生”的文化之一）
（为了筹集资金和增加知名度）
（妮可邀请了风投资本家和记者）
（参加她自己的公开高潮“展示”）
（晚会以神秘的宗教仪式开始）
（斯廷森比奇展示）
我有兴趣把我的身体用来
传递我所获的的体验
那是一种美的体验
让人感到和谐的体验
这就是那种美
今天我沉浸其中
我觉得我体内 有某种东西与世间万物相连
我和我的伴侣、 床、植物有一种亲密感
世界变成一个巨大的神经元网络
这个我称为妮可的实体 其实也是其中的一部分
如果你在看斯廷森的展示
你看到的是
狗屁 拜托
有人在上面 浑身赤裸 接受别人撩拨她的私处
有人带着蛇…
对吧?这些东西…到底怎么回事?
对我来说
所有这些都是为了营造一种氛围
给在场的人感受到 比如投资人
有一位纽约时报的记者也在场
那个斯廷森比奇的展示
真的非常激烈 感觉好像…
有时候她在笑 有时候她在哭
还有很多呻吟声
你会听到观众表达自己的感受
你懂的 “就像是体内一股暖流 或是我脸上的一下刺激”
瑞秋·切维兹把一些观众哄起来
让他们在展示进行时碰妮可的大腿
他们把它描述得像命中注定一样
你感受到这种体验中的能量
你会意识到 “天啊 我真的体验到了什么
而且和这个在我面前 被撩拨的女人同步了”
“好像我的身体也有感觉了”
虽然我觉得 大多数人 看了之后只会觉得这事
就是鬼扯
但看起来人们好像真的 感受到了现场在发生什么
我希望你今晚能感受到
让一个训练有素的女人 获得高潮 是什么样的体验
你看看她能到达的境界
简直是无与伦比
我撩拨过的人里 没有任何一个
能做到她所做到的事
我希望你们所有人都能像她一样
拜托 我也是
当我上这门课时 参与高潮冥想的有女性也有男性
我的搭档不太愿意帮男性做
所以妮可亲自上阵
我马上就崩溃了
我开始发抖 哭泣
眼泪从我的脸颊滚下来
然后她把我挪到她的胸口 然后开始轻轻抚摸我的头
而我没有崩溃的那一小部分头脑
那个小小的理性的控制中心
就在想:“妮可 我看透你的诡计了
你把自己当成我妈妈了”
“你温柔地把我抱在腿上
靠在胸口旁 抚摸我的头 深情地看着我”
“你想让我把你当成妈妈”
没门
我想如果我的意识里没有一点怀疑
也许我就会和她产生羁绊 也许我会全情投入“一品人生”
并成为她的忠实拥护者和捍卫者之一
但我没有
你们都可以来感受抚摸
我们周一到周五 11点到1点之间会举办达尔尚
我很荣幸能抚摸房间里的任何人
你有没有…
如果你了解禅、佛教之类的东西
为下一个真相做好准备是分层次的
每当有男性撩拨的行为被公开时
所有的男人都会想:“我也想 我也要”
“我很同情这些女人饥渴的经历”
“我也饥渴 我也想被撩拨”
然后就会陷入尴尬的境地
所以我们还是保持隐私
一旦摆上台面 就会改变一切
所以我们不那么做 “不摆上台面”
“男性撩拨练习是不摆上台面的”
有人开玩笑说:“这就像灵修版手交”
而且没错 那就是问题所在
它可能会演变成手交
但我们想要的是完全不同的东西
比如女人抚摸男人的阴茎 会带来一大堆文化方面的东西
但反之则不然
一个女人成为性服务提供者所意味的
和男人所处在的
接受性服务的终端
所以 你无法在性别置换后 还要说:“现在这是高潮冥想”
最终它就不是高潮冥想了
我们文化里有女性身份 对吧?
女性是受害者
如果我不接受这一点
那么受害者只有两种选择
一方是恶人
你的练习课中 女人获得高潮冥想
提供高潮冥想的男人却不被展示
不知道他们是谁 不清楚他们的目的
女人在那种情况下 不能向那种男人张开双腿
我认为重要的是有你 或受过专业训练的人
在这些练习课程中出现
当他的身体给她留下深刻印象时 她的整个身体都会感觉到
她的整个意识被点燃
但我觉得你需要约束这些练习课程
你说的话 对我来说
听起来像是保护女性
但这种方式延续了 我们需要被保护的想法
这个想法让我不为自己的性行为负责
但是我有个故事 我不是受害者
受害者故事的问题在于
它会夺走你的力量
如果你想知道转移强奸的真正方法
那就是达到百分百性奋
因为那样就没有强奸了
妮可在谈论自己经历的黑暗
或是她来自的黑暗时
常常传达一些非常野蛮的信息
创伤只是卡在体内需要释放的东西
我觉得你要做的事…
我是说 这将会成为我的建议 就是你多多进行高潮冥想
在你高潮冥想时 体内的那些东西就会出来
它慢慢地 轻轻地 打开你的身体并释放
然后你就可以面对和摆脱 面对和摆脱
很快你就会注意到 你忍受痛苦的能力下降了
你得尽快把那玩意弄出来 然后你就没事了
我爸爸是个猥亵儿童的人
他有猥亵小女孩的经验 而且是利用我当诱饵
所以这个举动…
哇 我和一个会伤害人的人同流合污
我把创伤的种子拿出来了
我自由了
在这段经历中 我可以原谅所有人
因为我摆脱出来了
我应该在这里讲过这个事了 当我还是脱衣舞娘的时候
他们把刀架在我脖子上
妮可的传记有点神秘
你永远不知道什么是真的
我感觉随着公司的不断发展
她的自传前后修改了很多次
但她确实谈到了当过脱衣舞娘
我当然有资格了 我的出身很黑暗
她是个高价应召女郎
她会讲一些故事 比如
一个妓艺就能得到700美元 应该是这个词吧
然后她有个癖好 她会和人们玩社交游戏
扰乱他们的思维
尤其是男性
我的朋友说“哦 她是个魔鬼 离她远点”之类的话
那非常让人好奇
有一天 我们磕了一些迷幻药 然后她就向我求婚了
看着自己老婆 当性爱邪教领袖的感觉…
对我来说还挺有趣的
我甚至准备好去买辆 哈雷摩托 然后骑着它去海边
然后加入性爱邪教 这不爽吗?
再磕点迷幻药 我真的很想做那些事
我们的任务 我们的商业机会是
让八十万人尝试高潮冥想
一万人达到精通的水平 或当老师
在世界各大城市都有一个中心
罗伯·坎德尔是妮可的 第一个商业合作伙伴
他以前从事科技金融工作
遇到妮可后 两人决定创办“一品人生”
我第一次见到罗伯时 他和卡罗尔结婚了
他们是妮可的少数追随者
妮可想要罗伯无休止的奉献
还有他的银行存款
你知道 他有点懦弱 总是寻求认可
妮可有很好的时尚感
于是她会给他打扮 让他变得很性感
在一个温暖的周二早上 我在撩拨一个性感年轻的尤物
她会借鉴山达基教或其他邪教
甚至追溯到“生命之泉” 和“爱海德训练”那么久远
萨满说 成就一个药师是 从落入恶魔的力量中开始
在卡巴拉教中 这叫爱和力量
在达尔尚…
有个东西叫萨古鲁…
欲望的佛经…
它是神圣的…
在更深奥的练习中
我想去见多贡的神
扎尔曼·沙赫特-沙罗米
卡利玛说…威尔克说…
想想佛祖
马尔科姆·格拉德韦
鲁米 艾扬格 克里希那穆提
藏传佛教…
有点像特蕾莎修女
宇宙庇护所的光之使者
安息日 耶稣的爱
那是宗教 而磨难里就有
所有关于神、精神和女人的胡话
通常如果你触及绝对 你就会有这样的领悟
这个领悟就是 “我是上帝”
一味 本来是个佛教概念
佛祖说:“海只有一味 咸味
所以这里的教义和守则也只有一味 那就是自由的味道”
我的宗教信仰真的是高潮
我说的“高潮”是指类似于
这个在世界上移动的潜在的东西
当你进入“一品人生”
大多数人对高潮只有一个定义 就是最为常见的定义
性高潮体验 对吧? 那是高潮
然后你去上高潮冥想的课 你对高潮的理解就有了一点变化
不只是达到性高潮的那一下
达到性高潮只是高潮 八步之中的其中一步
然后高潮开始变得更像是气
像流淌在宇宙中和你体内的能量
如果你跟着它 就会更 贴近大自然 那也是高潮之一
大部分人都不知道他们对高潮的定义
每周或每月都在变化
在某一时刻 当我离开的时候
上帝成了高潮的代名词
而高潮就是妮可
我看着她 说:“你是想建立宗教对吧?”
她说:“我是想建立宗教 但问题就在于
你无法贩卖上帝 因为你在亚马逊上就能找到上帝”
“我贩卖的是性 因为你得不到它”
从那里开始 自然而然地 祭司仪式就正式开始了
我接到妮可的电话 说：
“麦克 ‘一品人生’即将要做一个
叫‘魔法学院’的东西 我需要你的帮助”
“我们希望你帮忙 做一些我们想要的仪式”
“帮忙设计仪式 举行仪式
我们想创造
一些高潮冥想的祭司”
愤世嫉俗的那部分我觉得：
“行 如果她成功地把 它融入到宗教团体中
那就是说 不用交税了”
她说:“我们想让自己
还有其他参与其中的主要女性
成为发起者 成为女神的角色”
把男人也牵扯进来 对他们说:“你现在是祭司了”
当某人当上祭司时
他们就同意进入不同的生活阶段
其实这是一种让我们 感受超强的羁绊和连接的方法
而且这是我们非常重视的一部分
我是自愿进来的 这样 就可以进去看看是什么情况
否则的话至少要花一万五
或者是三万
我说:“你们应该戴黑色全包式面罩”
“脖子以下 一丝不挂”
这传达的是你是女神 这是女性的力量
那是无脸无我的 现在要对这些男人说：
“欢迎你来当我的仆人”
我还记得在看他们时 所感受到的这种力量
我说:“我希望 别人也受用 毕竟对我也有用”
“我感受到了女神的能量 我感受到了这种 你懂的
神圣的女性性欲”
这些高潮祭司
会用充满仪式感的方式进行高潮冥想
其中他们要抚摸一个接一个的女人
妮可是个表演家 你知道吗?
她身上有一点巴纳姆的影子
我对自己开玩笑说：
“她想把这个做成性感版光明会”
身边环绕着200个参与其中的 年轻漂亮性奋尤物的时候
这种感觉很有趣
他们花了一大笔钱
我可以轻易地想象这五天的总收入
大概得有一百万美元
但他们应该觉得他们的钱花得值
“上帝用祂的智慧 选出了一群男女
成为祂恩赐的提供者”
“他没有选择骄子 伟人 明星或智者”
“他选择了谦卑 病痛 不幸者…”
瑞秋是销售主管
她是公司里很有影响力的人物
我是瑞秋 我教授黑暗艺术
耶！
我会说这是我教的四次元课程
我教的三次元课程是销售
她和妮可走得很近 她就像妮可的左右手
看好了 来吧
你看 你这样做 她就靠近了
她引起了很多人的钦佩 因为
她投射出的一种女性的形象
是可以掌控她的性欲
好了瑞秋 你的时机到了 亲爱的
我什么都没写
你明白我的意思了吧?
她也什么都没写 我们有另一个小穴灵媒了
耶！
天啊 小穴
小穴！
她真的太…
我可以碰她 对吧?
你们真的是我的家人
我一整周都在想要怎么说出来
比如 怎么说 在这里的感觉多么的好
然后被点燃
变得性奋 而且发自真情实感
所以 这就是我想说的
瑞秋愿意做妮可想让她做的任何事
只要事关推动“一品人生”发展 以及保护“一品人生”
我25岁的时候 有个心理医生说我高潮无能
意思是我无法达到性高潮
作为一个女人 如果我要过上无法 享受性生活的人生 那有什么意思?
所以在我第一次的高潮冥想时 我感觉到一瞬间的电流感
我就想:“原来做女人是这样的”
她也是妮可的执行者
那非常重要 因为随着妮可平步青云
大师必须置身于争论之外
你动作要快 比如… 拉斐尔在哪儿?
像兔子一样快 像兔子一样快
好吗?
很好！
我们很兴奋吗?
对！
我们要留在…
理智！
“一品人生”雇了很多 还没正式开展事业的人
大家都期待着获得 加入性爱创业公司的机会
人们早上7点半起床 进行高潮冥想
随后去开员工大会
工作和我们做的其他事之间没有界限
当我被录用时 他们告诉我说
我会获得纽约分公司20%的营收
这在当时是一大笔钱
他们给的实在是太多了
纽约“一品人生”的营收有时 一天能达到一到两万美元
所以 那是一大笔钱
后来我发现“不 其实是 五个人一起分那20％”
后来又发现是“20% 但前提是你要帮忙促销”
一直在变 每一次 我问我们的报酬是多少
我得到的答案都不一样 有时甚至会反过来攻击我
比如我问钱的问题就是混蛋 或者我这个人只知道关注金钱
我们起争执时 他们会叫我去高潮冥想
他们的底层逻辑就是
如果你不和人相处
或者如果有人经常惹毛你
那你就该去上他们
你非得这么做吗?
我觉得如果我不那么做
我就不重要 也不会引起关注
我非常想在
“一品人生”爬高一点 比如进管理层
所以有段时间 我做了他们建议的事
这是在一个非常不寻常的 人际动态的领域中运作的 对吧?
通常 员工和经理之间的关系
不会是你的经理会叫你去和谁上床
在“一品人生”里有句格言
“当性欲高涨时 你要么做爱 要么奋斗”
有一次我和我的一个同事闹矛盾
瑞秋说:“我们这里不是这么做的”
“你们去做爱 没做完就别回来上班”
她和我走了出去
我们看着对方说:“这很奇怪 真的可以吗?”
“就是 我们的上级叫我们去做爱”
“一品人生”的文化也鼓励我们去
为了自己的成长去做 有情感挑战或不舒服的事情
所以就好像…
是的 我们有非常尴尬的性经历
然后回去工作 就是这样
每次开课都会有 “一品人生”的女员工参与其中
因为参加课程的经常是大批男性
所以你得让女人跟男人搭档
让他们挑拨她们的私处 这样所有男人才能都有搭档
报名的有十个男人和两个女人
顺便一说 通常女性不需要花钱
或者只要花小钱就能上课
但男会员要全额支付
他们是付了钱的 所以 如果只有两个女会员上课
我们就需要八个女人 来和其他男人搭档
那这些女人从哪里来呢?
那就是我们了
对社群里的女性来说
她们是愿意的 但是
她们其实也并无选择
当我跟很多前会员聊天时
他们会描述一些局外人的想法
“是有人叫你来和客户做爱
目的就是让客户给公司多花钱”
而我得到的印象是 在“一品人生”内部
这并不像看起来那么糟糕
还有其他解释 比如说
“你应该跟这个人上床 因为
这几天你的高潮有点积压了
你应该和很多人做爱来释放自己”
这是来自团队中高层人士的建议
他们好像已经把自己的性欲搞懂了
也许你应该接受这个建议 也许你也想这么去做
因为你会觉得:“也许这会有帮助”
我们会因为当了受害者而感到羞耻
她使用了这种语义上的重构
打造真正可怕的条条框框
例如 对强奸没有价值判断
对掠夺性的男人没有价值判断
你也知道我们的文化衫是怎么来的 比如“由高潮提供动力” 对吧?
这也可以印成文化衫
“我被强奸了 但我一心想当受害者”
或者 “我强奸了一个人 但我心里全是掠夺者的故事”
当人们事后想理清 自己在组里的遭遇时
他们会想:“这都是我的错 因为我永远不会是受害者”
我一直都在质疑我在那里的经历
试图搞清楚到底发生了什么
描述一下你的性生活
有点渴望更多 却不愿出轨
对我来说 作为女同性恋
受到的压力就是让我 要么女性化 要么男性化
所以我认为我有很多问题需要改正
还要面对自己对于 “一品人生”来说不够女性化
行为举止不像其他女人那样
我是个在后台工作的女人 我甚至是戴着工具带的
我做的都是一些很男性化的事
所以我经常被嘲笑
偏好是一种无意识的习惯反应
所以唯一束缚你的就是你自己的信仰
另一边 是自由
那就是我们要寻找的
在寻找的时候 我们不会只去自己喜欢的地方
你讨厌的地方就是给你的磨练
它们是你… 它们实际上是你最大的礼物
他们是你获得自由的地方
这是我教的BDSM课
我很喜欢教这门课 真的很好玩
所以这是我的两个爱好
迪斯尼乐园和BDSM
你一看这些东西就会觉得
“怎么可能有人喜欢被鞭打呢?”
但如果你从好坏对错的判断中走出来
只是单纯地感受着这快感
这时 你才是真的享受
我们都有原始的冲动 你懂吗?
我们都有蹂躏别人的欲望
或是被人蹂躏的欲望
我感受到了那种吸引力 那种渴望
我的很多约束和教条 都在告诉我 欲望是错的
但“一品人生”允许我 在某种程度上克服这一切
那是我和妮可演了一场之后拍的
这就是她名字的首字母
这两个鞭子和长鞭是妮可的
你永远都是女人的绝望奴隶
谢谢
你经常眨眼的原因是
除了你自己以外 你不愿意把注意力放在别人身上
谢谢
你在咖啡馆里并不称职
谢谢
你永远无法摆脱你拘束的个性
谢谢你 你很胖
谢谢你
他们做过一个叫“杀人”的东西
惹怒别人
说些会让他们情绪崩溃的话
我记得我们开过一个团队会议
会上有个女人正被培养成下一个瑞秋
她口齿伶俐 非常有魅力
因为她一直挣扎着 不愿屈服于“一品人生”
她被瑞秋和其他工作人员灌醉了
因为我们知道彼此的秘密
我们知道彼此脆弱的地方 我们知道大家都很缺乏安全感
他们对她说了很多很伤人的话
超出了她情感的承受范围
当她终于从哭泣中抬起头来 她整个人就像死了一样
所以才叫“杀人” 她整个人一片空白
仿佛她的自尊消失了 那就是虐待
我很后悔的一件事是 没有在那一刻支持她
因为当时我的心情也很糟糕
这不是说现在回想起来感觉很糟
而是在那一刻我感到难过
但我说服自己说 这是为了她好
所以我什么都没说
有人刚刚对我说
这里的人都不会说 很尖利的话 你知道吗?
其实我们也不会 但我们都同意要厮杀彼此…
为了实现更高的目的
有个 女人曾经想离开
所以妮可派我和比尔去说服她
让她留下来
她很生气
她告诉我们自己只是不信任妮可
她觉得这里不适合她
比尔告诉她 他觉得…
“妮可是喜欢诚实的人
你应该亲口告诉她 你不信任她”
她开始告诉妮可她不信任她
妮可开始崩溃地哭了
“我不敢相信你会离开我”
“我真的不敢相信你会这样抛弃我”
妮可当时在哭泣
这个女人说： “不 妮可 我永远不会离开你”
“好吧 我会留下的”
她离开了房间
瞬间 她的眼泪就止住了
妮可看着我们 说：
“刚刚事态并没有 像你们猜的那样进行吧?”
爱、情感和能量都是 有策略地给予和收回
以达到创造依赖的目的
如果你离开的话
你就再也没有机会接触这些东西了
我只知道有一个人 当他嗑药的时候
他们让他体验了个人经历
然后想从他身上赚更多钱
说服他再交出25万美元之类的
人们不停地受伤
有的人受到严重伤害
我看到她开始拿着越来越多的执照
事实上 她有一个非常着迷的点 就是
看她能让别人做出什么事
那是她的娱乐项目
那是她不为人知的兴奋点 就是能亲手掌控其他人
她对她的一些员工做了一些事情
她会让他们看狮子 比如狮群狩猎 撕碎东西
她会说:“我们就是这样”
“我们是狮子 我们没有做错事”
“我们就是这样觅食的”
这个“野兽” 这种暴力 这种被正常化的愤怒
人们被鼓励在心理上对彼此残忍
他们第一次对别人做坏事的时候
收到了鼓励
“好 你真的展示了你的野性”
你知道你做了很糟糕的事
但现在你心里的善恶 已经完全被重新定义了
我有个常客 他的兴奋点是掐我脖子
他的野兽被锁了起来 在那里根本没有施展的地方
但我碰巧喜欢野兽
我不得不极力投降 以至于我可以将它全盘照收
突然间 到某个地步 他就会开始咆哮
那就是全部…
他给了我很多的钱 但只是为了掐我脖子和哭 就这样
我们以为他们很强硬 其实他们只是渴望爱的小哭包
他们只是想爱我们的小伙伴
他们很强硬 是因为他们害怕
我爸因为52项猥亵儿童罪 最终死在了监狱里
但我从来没觉得他是个坏人
我认为他是个广阔的四次元生命
他不能把自己限制在 三次元的任意法则中
那是他在我心目中唯一的罪行
其他人可能会有不同的想法
描述一下你的性生活
我的性爱中充满了愤怒
嗯…还有很多甜味
我希望能带来更多愤怒
“一品人生”鼓励女性
欣赏男性性行为中的掠夺性
这应该是一种非常超前的实践
救救我！
有一个叫“技术违规”的常用词
你没有违背她的意愿 你违背的是她嘴上说的意愿
住手！
释放你的野兽这个理念本质上
相当于是做一个野蛮人 或者完全表达出来
这在个人发展中是很常见的
我觉得这对那些
可能有所谓的好人症候群的人来说
在很多方面来说都是很治愈的
很明显“一品人生”的一切 有的时候都做得太过分了
（布鲁克林）
我叫奥特姆·布兰克
我是来说我妹妹的故事的
会讲到她进了邪教组织
还有她在其中的经历
（艾瑞斯·布兰克因惧怕想起 “一品人生”而拒绝接受采访）
（她的姐姐奥特姆 代替她说出她的故事）
我的妹妹和我
我们的童年都很痛苦
我们在性方面遭遇了一些事
我知道我妹妹在性生活 和人际交往方面都有困难
在那个社群和爱之下
因为我们小时候没有这些
所以当她跟比她年长的瑞秋说话时
发现她也经历了相同的事
而她说:“高潮冥想彻底治愈了她”
当然 这就是我妹妹走的下坡路
“为什么不试试呢?” 我想
这是经历那一切之前的妹妹
你可以看出她很快乐
她的眼睛里还有光
我去看望她的时候
她眼睛里的光已经消失了
那时我才知道 真出事了
那些人会告诉她 她需要和这些男人上床
或者她每天需要进行 四到五次的高潮冥想
才能让自己从童年的创伤中解脱出来
我妹妹从“一品人生” 出来后开始给我发她的日记
这是她治疗的一部分
“我今天醒来充满了愤怒 生我男朋友的气”
“他一拳打在我脸上 撕裂了我的嘴唇
打青了我的眼睛”
“起初我很震惊 我们之前吵过很多次架
但从来没有想过他会这么过分”
“我几乎得不到任何的同情”
“有人告诉我这是我的错”
是“我逼他这么做的”
“他的野兽只是在满足我的身体诉求”
“因为我是童年家庭暴力的幸存者
这是我的习惯 也是我身体的诉求”
“他只是按照我身体的诉求去做
而现在我却因为他做了 我要求他做的事而羞辱他 责怪他”
“我环顾了整个房间 所有人不看我”
“没有人愿意支持我”
“我再也没提过他打我或拖行我的事”
“现在回想起来 我不敢相信我竟然挺住了”
“我很想相信他会改变”
“我听说有时我们的灵魂伴侣必须 对我们施予暴力 才能帮我们成长”
“这只是纵容暴力的一种方式”
“他们一是不希望我去相关部门举报
二是不想我男朋友带着钱离开”
“今晚 社群的成员释放了他的野兽”
“他把我抓起来 双臂固定在两侧
开始在大家面前疯狂摇我”
“没有一个人插手
“他对我大叫 说会如何 强奸我 殴打我 蹂躏我”
他知道我睡在哪里 而且今天晚上就会找到我”
“后来我因为在他的野兽面前 表现出了恐惧而受到了训斥”
“一个性奋的女人
会用优雅和爱意 接受他的野兽的呼救”
“回想起来 我并不感到惊讶
我无法入睡
我任由我的身体自生自灭”
自从我的故事在2018年被曝出后
许多普通读者从未听说过“一品人生”
很多人都很震惊
这是个 疯狂的故事 我觉得它牵动了每个人的神经
看着那些正在寻找人生答案的人
反而变得更混乱
更迷茫 远比以前更受伤
除此之外 社群对此的反应也很强烈
你知道 故事出来以后 我听 了很多人的消息
他们真的很感动 看到有国家级杂志能曝光
这种非常黑暗 甚至可耻的经历
他们有时甚至很难向朋友解释清楚
公司马上就受到影响
首席执行官乔安娜·范 ·弗莱克 主动辞职了
她继续留在了公司 但辞去了首席执行官一职
他们停止了培训项目 那可是他们曾经的旗舰课程
他们不再线下上课 开始改成虚拟化
点击“如何高潮冥想”
你能找到免费的高潮冥想在线课程
几个月后 我接到一个线人的电话
“昨天有两个联邦调查局探员敲门
他们想和我谈谈 在‘一品人生’发生的事”
我觉得有些人的想法很有趣 他们说
如果女性掌管全世界 一切将变得无比完美
但这个群体里 母系氏族的精神
从成立的第一天就刻在了公司血液里
仍然逃不过被指控滥用权力的下场
（妮可·黛顿）
（2017年 妮可·黛顿出售了她在 “一品人生”的股份 据说达数百万）
（她去了国外 后来聘请了 危机沟通公关 犹大·英格梅尔）
（2018年 她的IG帐号 定位在巴厘岛和意大利）
（在撰写关于佛经的书）
（2019年1月24日）
我回到了图森 我长大的地方
我正要打电话给
一名在纽约的联邦调查局探员
他两个月前联系了我
他们真的很推崇这个想法
男人天生就是掠夺性的想法
我们应该
欢迎男人的掠夺天性
我们应该觉得它很性感 很有魅力
所以当他们的这一天性
让他们出去强奸了陌生女性时
这完全是说得通的 基于我所听到的对话
以及我所看到的行为来说
（奥黛丽证实了那个）
（她向联邦调查局报案 被强奸的那个女子）
（正是艾瑞斯·布兰克）
有一次 我妹妹给我打电话
她被逼着和多人发生性行为
然后她的男朋友殴打她
她在楼梯底下呕吐
我记得坐在那边问:“你在做什么?”
这是她出去之前的发生的事
我以为这会是最后一次了
我记得我在电话里哭
“为什么? 你为什么 要这么做?” 就好像是…
“我从来不想跟别人高潮冥想”
“我从来不想让别人碰我的身体”
“一切都是强迫的 我的身体充满了羞耻和厌恶”
“我记得有人告诉我不要去医院
我的那些颤抖
呕吐 失重 这些难受都只是高潮”
“这是我在提炼我幼时的创伤和痛苦
如果我继续和它们共处
我将进入下一个等级的觉醒和自由”
这是你妹妹的身体 对性侵和殴打的反应
是的 对
以及性侵和殴打
还有我所看到的被人操纵
被说服什么才是对的
（多个来源报道称 据称 男性都是在Tinder上招来）
（和奥特姆的妹妹发生性行为 以达到“释放她的高潮”的目的）
（“一品人生”否认此事 并称）
（艾瑞斯·布兰克 被殴打或性侵的事）
（与她参加的“一品人生” 课程或雇佣关系完全无关）
是什么让你在她不能开口时 愿意代替她讲出这个故事?
我想让其他人看到
我想要尽可能地制止…
我想为那些不能为自己发声的人发声
我想讲述某个人的故事 它在众多故事当中被消音了
然后被隐藏了起来
但我有能力讲这个故事
我只希望其他人不要掉进这个坑里
希望其他人看到了
能明白这不值得 而且很危险
“决定离开时 我去找了妮可谈话”
“当我到达她的公寓时
好像之前的滤镜都通通摘掉了”
“当我告诉她这个组织 伤害了我 且还在继续伤害别人时
当我说这是个邪教 需要她整改时
她表现得很无辜和迷茫 甚至震惊”
“她说她完全不知道”
“要么她是个白痴 完全迷失在她和现实的脱节之中
她不让自己看到真相
要么她是极度扭曲和病态的人
认为利用 虐待 创伤和毁灭 他人的生命是完全无害的
一切只为了她的个人利益”
我的日子并不好过 离开了“一品人生”独自生活
我对他们的很多做法都有了质疑
这一切让我很不安 因为我一离开
我出现了幻听
我想 因为有了这些行话和密词…
当我离开时
我几乎无法理解别人说话的方式
我会在四下无人时突然听到一个字
（清迈）
在我离开“一品人生”的两年后
我开始接受也许我毁了自己的人生
我没办法想清楚
这很难跟常态联系起来
所以我能做的而且靠谱的工作 就是当个蓝领工人 用双手谋生
没错 我确实到了那样一个地步
我接受了也许我脑子已经坏了的事实
我觉得我只是花了点时间
彭博社的文章问世后
它的影响力比我想象的要大得多
我的父母吓坏了
因为他们读到我加入性爱邪教的内容
一名私家侦探在深夜 留下了一堆语音信箱
他在暗示我会陷入官司
（“一品人生”与健康的邪教）
（健康的邪教）
你妹妹今天愿意来这里讲故事吗?
她会的 我确定
我妹妹总是希望好起来 一直在努力
现在她在读博士
尽力过着她最好的生活 不管过去发生的那么多事
不是因为 而是除那以外
以前参加过“一品人生”的人们
总是好奇公司现在到底发生了什么
还有些“一品人生”的员工住在“大地”
那是他们在门多西诺县的农场
我听说妮可就在“大地”那里住
她回到了美国 人现在在“大地”
我很惊讶她竟然回来了
鉴于联邦调查局正在积极调查
我回去的时候
感觉好像我知道我参加过邪教
因为我总会觉得自己回到家了
我想永远待在那里
他们其实不是… 他们根本就没关心过我
我对这个项目进行过 一些迅速的深入调查
但没有考虑
其他人看到后会是什么感受
你觉得人们会有什么感受?
我不知道 这是很难推测的事
尤其是关于“一品人生”和妮可
我们有个戒律是 “无论如何都要保持联系”
“我真是听腻了别人说
你这么聪明的女孩 怎么会发生这种事?”
“你怎么能让这种事发生?”
“他们是通过爱开始的 专家称这是‘爱的轰炸’
把你带到群体中 让你觉得自己特别 被看到
被关心 被珍惜”
“然后他们把它拿走
把你推到谷底
把你赶出这个社群 夺走 你获得目标和意义的途径
甚至有时候 夺走你和上帝的联系”
“我们坚持认为自己拥有掌控
被虐待 被操控的人都是 愚蠢的 或者低人一等的
他们应该能预见到它的到来”
“我现在看到的是那些认为
这种事绝不会发生在自己身上的人
只是在努力地抓紧仅有的控制
坚持着这个想法
他们绝对不会允许这种事发生”
我想让那些能理解 “一品人生”是什么的人
明白这些事已经发生过了 这些事曾经不知怎么地
能让我们从自己的生活中跳脱出来
我甚至说不出那具体是什么东西
是性 是高潮 是探索 是成长
是恐惧
是创伤
他是所有这些东西交织在一起
在我们参与的的时候 它点燃我们
甚至让我们敢于想象自己能被照燃
我认为我们必须明白
像“一品人生”这样的团体 吸引人们的原因是什么?
就是所有人都想要的东西
爱 连接 归属感
谁会不想要这些东西?
与此同时
如果领袖或文化做得太过
事情就会变得很危险
（制片人从2019年5月 开始研究这个故事）
（他们联系了“一品人生”领导层 希望他们参与到影片当中）
（但各方未能就采访条件达成一致）
（据说有上千人 参加过“一品人生”活动）
（影片中接受采访的每个人 描述的是他们个人的经验）
（并不代表所有会员或员工）
（“一品人生”称公司所有活动 都是自愿参加且双方同意的）
（公司不要求或希望任何人）
（违背自己的意愿进行任何活动）
（“一品人生”称公司从未 纵容或支持家庭暴力）
（而且任何支持家庭暴力的行为）
（都和“一品人生”教义“南辕北辙”）
（“一品人生”称早在设立条例前 就已在多元、公平和包容方面）
（进行了超过十年的投资 ）
（并经常举办同性恋活动）
（“一品人生”就卢万·梅帕加拉 薪酬变化一事解释称）
（是因为他在公司的岗位出现变化）
（不同岗位有不同的薪资结构）
（线人称妮可·黛顿 目前在寻找代笔作家）
（合作写一本关于“抵制文化”的书）
（“一品人生” 已更名为“高潮冥想学院”）
（联邦调查局询问了几位前会员）
（主要涉及“一品人生” 商业和劳工条例）
（调查还在进行中 至今仍未有任何指控）
（如果你或认识的人经历过性暴力）
（可从以下网站获得信息和资源 www.wannatalkaboutit.com）
The only thing that ever heals, the only thing that ever awakens
is connection.
I do think we have a pleasure deficit disorder in this country.
It's getting faster and faster, our world is getting really hyper-connected,
but human connection is beginning to dissolve.
I do think, though, that there is a cure,
and that cure is
female orgasm.
Hi. My name is Nicole Daedone,
and I'm the founder of OneTaste Urban Retreat Center.
She really was a celebrity to me. Like, I'd seen her TED Talk 30 times.
I have this vision
that someday you'll see yoga and meditation and orgasm
all on the same bill.
Welcome to the Orgasm Is pop-up shop.
Is. Orgasm Is.
Yeah.
Hi!
People began to flood into our doors,
person after person after person.
That's one reason why I love living in Silicon Valley.
Every single option you could imagine available in this city.
It was all about exploring orgasm, exploring pleasure.
To feel that open and that safe with another human being,
every single woman should know she can feel that.
I'm a lot more conscious just of my own power in my sex.
The next thing we knew, we were invited into all of these tech circles.
She wants to have this elite group
of turned-on, hip men and women.
I was a lonely, nerdy guy.
OneTaste opened up a world I didn't even dream was possible.
That feeling that had driven me my whole life,
seeking or trying to connect in relationship or sex
or any of those things, it was like…
"This is it."
It went from, like, utopia to a hellhole.
She would just become fascinated with what she could get people to do.
That was kind of, like, her secret thrill.
People were getting hurt.
People were getting hurt badly.
She thought she was
saving the world by taking people's money and messing up people's emotions.
Welcome to hell.
When you look at orgasm,
what I found is it has the same fundamental goal as the internet,
and that's human-to-human connection.
OneTaste was a fast-growing startup
in the health and wellness, and sexuality space.
It was started by Nicole Daedone.
Having spent a lot of time thinking about Nicole,
I think of her as a very skilled craftsman.
She seems to know what people will gravitate toward.
People wanted to hear from a woman.
People wanted to see a woman like her at the top of a company like this.
This was really women-led,
and I think that was important based on what OneTaste were teaching.
Orgasmic meditation is a way to connect to yourself, connect to your partner,
to feel more in your body.
I'm a lot more physically close to people and less afraid of more affection,
and it's teaching me to really ask for what I want
and say the vulnerable thing that might be scary to say.
At the fundamental level, we all want the same things.
We want to love, be loved, see, be seen,
know our purpose and feel connection.
Nicole is very compelling.
She's someone who put others at ease when she was around them…
We love you all. Happy birthday!
and whose special gift was setting a vision that people were excited about
and were willing to do a lot of things in order to help advance.
Go ahead and take a moment to really feel where you are
and the people that came here tonight,
maybe noticing, "Oh, I want to talk to that person later."
Making contact.
Maybe you're avoiding contact.
Noticing
the patterns.
Women and relationships were always a mystery to me.
And I didn't understand how to, like, find a girlfriend.
But I wanted to get laid,
and that was, like…
this, like, fly in the ointment, you know?
I'd heard about OneTaste,
and then finally, a friend of mine at the time was like,
"Oh, we're gonna go to an in-group at OneTaste."
"Do you wanna come with us?"
The building was at 1074 Folsom.
We walk in, and it's like this big, open space.
Everybody's hanging around, talking, like,
kind of like a cocktail party, almost.
It's just, like, a warm, friendly vibe,
which, to me at the time, is, like, odd, almost suspect.
I was used to all the cocktail parties in the whole tech scene,
where, you know, everybody's aloof.
But this was totally different.
Warm, open, friendly, and the person I'm sitting next to,
there's this kind of presence that you feel,
and then I look at her and I go, "Oh."
'Cause on the website was the picture of the woman that founded OneTaste,
Nicole Daedone,
and I'm like, "Oh, you're Nicole."
And then we just immediately started talking
about the idea of integrating sexuality and spirituality.
I don't think that there's anything…
of a higher order than having my body feel so good
that I emanate a good feeling…
and that that good feeling can catch on to you,
and that we can begin to pass it on to each other.
And when we feel good, strangely enough, we act well.
So, there's this way that, it seems to me, all there really is to do is to be happy,
so happy that it overflows and I have enough for you,
and I want to share it in any way I possibly can with you.
What happens in the face of really intense sensations
is that the mind wants to go either toward really good or really bad.
And that's what we tend to do with sexuality.
It's either beautiful and beloved,
or it's this nasty, evil thing.
But we don't know how to move
in the dynamic reality that occurs in between those poles.
Hi.
We are redefining what orgasm is.
Everything you see on the wall is written by somebody who just came in
to write what orgasm is for them.
OneTaste would have really low-key events,
and the people who were working radiated this happiness or attractiveness.
They invite you to do yoga with them,
they invite you to help them run another event,
and you get sort of swept up in it.
Orgasm is awesome, orgasm is amazing, orgasm changed my life.
Not only were all these happy, friendly people I was hanging out with
part of this organization, they all lived together.
Whoo! OneTaste rocks!
Welcome to OneTaste San Francisco.
I'm gonna take you all on a little tour inside the building. Come on in.
This is Alicia, and she does orgasmic haircuts.
Hi, guys. Hi.
My, how she uses her hands.
There's some yoga going on.
Maybe we could take a quick little peek inside.
You can't film that. This is the front of our warehouse.
A little messy right now.
Who left their laundry here?
And this is our center during the day.
I started reading online. There was, like, an online forum
where people would post their comings and goings,
like threesomes, foursomes, n-somes.
So-and-so having a make-out with so-and-so,
and so-and-so watching someone making out.
I was like, "What is going on? Like, this can't be real."
"This has gotta be all made up. I'm sure this isn't actually happening,
and if it's happening, there's no way they're gonna let me in."
But then, sure enough, no, it was the real deal.
One night I was living on a boat by myself,
and the next night I was living in a warehouse with, like, 40 people
and sharing a bed with my "research partner."
I was, like, this nerdy techie guy by day, you know,
fixing people's computer problems,
and then I'd go home at night
and, you know, be in the middle of this craziness.
Welcome to OneTaste.
Tell us, how do you do it, Alicia? How do you stay so sexy?
I use my Amorepacific Treatment Cleansing Foam.
Is that your secret? I thought it was orgasmic meditation.
I OM…
I OM every day and I use Amorepacific.
I OM and I don't eat any sugar.
And I always tell the truth.
What does it mean to say that I'm a practitioner of orgasmic meditation?
For purposes of simplicity, I'm going to describe it as a man and a woman,
just so that I can say "he" and "she,"
but it can be all different, crazy configurations.
Nicole is certainly a genius.
Brilliant idea to name it an OMing session.
An orgasmic meditation.
Because there's so many seekers, so many spiritual seekers in the Bay Area
and around the world.
You've turned this sex practice into a spiritual practice.
She will lie down.
There'll be a pillow underneath her head,
a pillow underneath each leg.
She'll butterfly open her legs.
And then he will get his finger onto her upper left-hand quadrant of her clitoris.
The upper left-hand quadrant is a location that they have found, scientifically,
to have a bundle of nerve endings.
Some say 8,000, some say 800,000, I don't know.
But they cannot find any reason for this bundle of nerve endings
other than pleasure.
The thing that will prevent you from knowing you hit the spot
is hoping you're hitting the spot, sure you hit the spot.
"What's the spot? I'm never gonna find the spot. It's impossible."
That will be the thing that will stop you
from the natural human intuition of feeling this little, slightly electric…
You'll also know because she'll go…
and she will not, in any way, at all,
move her hips.
She won't be doing weird moans.
She'll just be what we call "nailed."
So, then you will just stroke up, down,
up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down.
What am I gonna say next? "Up, down."
There you go. For 15 minutes.
It's so simple.
The man, if he's a good doer, he'll start to say,
"The lips of your pussy are starting to fill with fluid,
and the shades of pink and coral and ruby."
"And starting to build tumescence," is a word that they used a lot,
which was to build the turn-on, to build the energy.
Lighter, faster strokes will bring somebody up,
and then slower, firmer strokes will bring somebody down.
So, you bring them up, and then you plateau them,
then you bring 'em up, and then plateau 'em.
This is how you hit
the other dimension that you sense, in your body,
is possible when you're having sex,
and maybe that you glimpse,
or that moment that you glimpse in orgasm, where there's just nothing…
This is how you get to exist in that place sustainably.
The stroking practice was phenomenal.
And for me as a human being, you know,
putting that much attention on just that one tiny spot on your index finger,
touching the woman's clitoris, just stroking…
And from that one point, it opens up all these channels as a man
that I just never even knew were accessible to me.
The idea that her toe would wiggle
and I could feel a little tingle in my finger,
that was, like, connected.
And it was like, "What? Like, how is that even possible?"
So, these are things that unfolded in the practice.
Of course, when I started, I had no idea what I was doing,
and I was lucky if I could even get on the clitoris.
The guys here said,
"All I want is to have more sex."
"Please, please."
They didn't realize they're immersed on an island of women who want sex.
And so they were having, like, 20 OMs a day.
Their little fingers were in braces,
and they were, like, locking themselves behind the door.
"Nicole, get me out of here. Please, no more sex!"
I was like a lot of guys I knew in the tech world in San Francisco,
starved for just basic physical affection.
And OneTaste opened up this world of intimacy and connection and sex.
What she was selling was an innovation in relating to your sexuality.
The Bay Area is a place where people are gonna be attracted to
and open to that kind of idea,
and where they, frankly, might have a little extra money to buy courses.
He said to me, "I'm gonna describe your pussy now. Is that all right with you?"
I remember thinking I've never had somebody do that before.
It felt like somebody touched
the deepest part that existed inside of me.
I felt so exposed and so vulnerable,
and I remember thinking, "Oh my God,
I don't think I've ever been that intimate
with another human being before in my life."
I've talked to many people who said orgasmic meditation changed their life,
that it helped them experience sexual pleasure
that they thought was unreachable for them.
And especially women who said, "I've never had an orgasm before,
and this helped me redefine what sexual pleasure could mean for me."
"You know, I had felt like there was something wrong with me,
and now there was this alternative that was presented to me
that allowed me to embrace my body rather than feel ashamed."
My first introduction to orgasmic meditation
was when I saw a demo of OM.
And I remember that night, it was like…
It was like…
Like, the finger found the spot.
And I was just like, "Oh, I feel like my whole body, just, like, opened up."
That's beautiful.
Thank you. Yeah.
Describe your sex to me.
Timid and shy,
which is frustrating at times, but I feel like I'm in the right place.
Over the course of my four years living and working at OneTaste,
I became more relaxed and social in a way, and I think people could see it.
I became okay with men giving me attention at work,
I became friendlier towards them, and my career took off.
I guess I owe that to learning a lot about men at OneTaste, you know.
They were really, like, encouraging us to see
the soft, sensitive, emotional sides of men.
So this is the building that was what we called the center, 1074.
That's where we would hang out most of the time during the day,
and then upstairs was the yoga studio, but also the main classroom space
where we would hold practice every morning.
And then this is 1060.
This was the warehouse.
I always loved that there was that behind-the-red-door quality.
Yeah, so now it's a BDSM dungeon and a play space.
I remember the first bed I had was on this side, in the corner there,
and then later on I had one here.
I was sleeping in one right here at one point.
I was up in the loft.
Ten, 12, 13, 15…
I mean, at least 15 beds.
And I remember the first night I moved in,
and it was nuts.
Like, there was so much energy in my body.
All the… Yeah, that buzzy, lively energy of… Of people…
you know, exploring sex.
You know, my mom died when I was 13 years old,
and there's nothing that a 13-year-old kid can possibly be prepared for in any way
to have that experience or lose someone that close to them.
So, I think on some level, I was learning how to connect with women
so that I could be able to let people come and go in my life
and not feel the grippy attachment.
I was a software engineer in Silicon Valley.
I was pretty successful, except in my personal life.
I was just kind of a walking encyclopedia
of all the ways you can be bad with the opposite sex.
I had a few different nicknames at OneTaste.
One of them was Yoda, and I think it's partly because of my stature.
I'm 5'0".
I'm five feet tall.
And so, in a way that was good because
I was a counterexample to all of the men who thought they had to be a certain thing
in order to actually have good relationships with women.
We're in this place now where women are actually self-sufficient.
They don't need men to protect them anymore,
or to care for them anymore, or to, like, provide for them anymore.
So, what can men do, right?
What women want is someone who's actually there meeting them as an equal
and ready to play.
I think OneTaste was a place where
really what we were doing was increasing human connection,
and researching human connection.
Like, what happens when you are vulnerable with someone?
What happens when you are more truthful than you've ever been with someone?
And what happens when you expose your clitoris to someone?
All of this stuff that people avoid because it's so scary
is precisely where people need to go
in order to have true, nourishing human connection.
The best thing you have to lose is that sense of hopelessness
that you will ever…be reached deep inside.
I probably re-watched that TED Talk, like, 20 or 30 times.
I really felt like something she was saying in that talk touched me.
Like, something about it was more than sexuality,
it's about real connection and realness.
You get to have this most profound and deep experience
with another human being.
There's a certain magic that comes from putting attention on other people,
instead of always focusing on your needs and your wants and your goals, which…
In OneTaste, through OMing,
we learned how to really put our attention on other people's feelings,
which is basically what empathy is.
But not just, like, "I can feel when you're happy or sad."
But like, I can feel the moment that you think I'm lying,
or I can feel the moment that, like, you pull back.
Precision with empathy.
It felt so good to feel like you're helping them help people.
Whoo!
It's like our lives are such a good TV show.
Just to watch it, like, in real, like, real time.
Hmm.
And I'm so grateful that, like, life is just so interesting.
Mm-hm.
In high school, my anxiety was, like, almost debilitating.
In my early twenties, I learned how to put a mask over it.
I still had anxiety
and I still felt terrible most of the time.
So, to be, you know, in a space where I could really be real,
it was like incredible medicine for me.
We're gonna do this exercise three times.
My first class, the first half of the day was Nicole speaking to people,
giving impromptu coaching. Giving them "strokes" was the term.
That was life-changing,
because she could cold-read people with such accuracy
that, if you're open to it,
it could maybe change your life, give you a new perspective.
She'd say, like, "What are you here for?"
For some people she'd just say "Thank you'" and move on.
And when it got to me, I was starting to say something mundane like,
"Oh, sex is interesting, so I signed up for this class,"
and I could see she was already turning away from me,
like that wasn't a good answer. So she was gonna shift,
and then I just blurted out, "I want to connect with people for real."
And she turns back to me, and it felt, you know…
It felt really good to get her attention.
Ultimately, what we're aiming for is to create a permanent meeting space.
So, no matter how whackadoodle she gets when she's stuck up here in her ego,
she knows that I can get in there.
And she read me and she said, "I know why you don't connect with people."
"It's like you're trying to stay in this tonal range."
"It's a nice range, but you're denying people the whole spectrum."
"You trying to act like a super cute frat boy,
who says everything's cool all the time,
when really you're a dark, dangerous man."
And no one had ever spoken to me like that before.
I don't know if she was reading something in me for real
or reading something that I wanted to be true,
but it felt like the most resonant thing anyone had said to me.
I did feel like I put up a facade with people to be liked,
but inside I was angry, I was frustrated, you know, I felt dark inside.
It was life-changing, just that beginning before I ever OMed.
I got over a fear of being seen,
a fear of vulnerability that I had my entire life.
Hey, would you like to have an OM?
Sure.
Okay. I've only done it once or twice though.
That's okay.
When's a good time? Uh, now if you're not busy.
All right, let's go.
OneTaste, the idea was to get this thing out into the world, right?
Well, it became evident pretty quickly that I could, like,
shoot video and tell a little story,
and, like, boom, we've got, you know, some media.
So this is what you need to know to truly learn how to handle a woman's pussy.
That's right. We just said, "Learn to handle a woman's pussy."
Nicole, she wanted to leverage that, you know, right away.
And so that sort of became my raison d'être…
and eventually became my real raison d'etre.
Like, I quit my job so that I could be the video guy for OneTaste.
"Your sex is not a problem."
"We've been living in a paradigm of wrong for too long."
And what if you could learn how to become a master of the vagina?
Today, we're going to discuss why everyone is going to be happier
when you learn how to give a woman a 15-minute orgasm.
If you all don't know, Nicole's first book was released
on May 25th, Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm.
And it's come out to some really great reviews and publicity.
Just this weekend, Nicole was at TEDxSF giving a lecture to 750 people…
This was a practice that intrigued reporters whenever they heard about it.
It was like, "Orgasmic meditation? Like, what is that?"
Fifteen minutes?
Fifteen minutes.
That's a lot of orgasm.
That's a lot of orgasm. Yeah.
The OneTaste Urban Retreat, not your average yoga studio.
The pants come off the women, and soon, the studio erupts in female ecstasy.
Nicole knew that it couldn't be so kooky,
you know, and it had to become more about wellness,
more about women feeling empowered.
A visual testimony
on how orgasmic meditation is practiced.
They started having offices in Los Angeles, New York, London.
They started expanding internationally…
The statistics are terrible.
Thirty percent of women self-report that they don't reach orgasm when they want to.
In 2013 and 2014, they held these conferences,
weekend-long conferences with thousands of attendees.
Thank you for coming to OMX!
They just started collecting more and more money from sales of courses.
At one point, OneTaste started selling a thing called membership
that was, like, $50,000-plus,
which allowed whoever the customer was to take any class for the whole year.
By the time 2017 came around,
the company had about $12 million in revenue.
That was the year that they were on a list of fast-growing startups by Inc. magazine.
And it was a reflection of Nicole's desire to make OneTaste mainstream.
I'm Gwyneth Paltrow,
and you're listening to the Goop Podcast.
Today's guest is the very magnetic Nicole Daedone. She's a…
OneTaste caught the eye of really influential people,
in particular, Gwyneth Paltrow,
who was not only someone who's very influential in Hollywood,
but also someone who's this, like, wellness god.
Nicole is also the author of Slow Sex,
which is a book I often recommend to women
who are looking for more desire in their relationships.
I really wonder if she was trying to do an L. Ron Hubbard.
"Let's get some famous people in."
That was one of the many brilliant things the founder of Scientology came up with,
was the power of celebrity.
"If we can get movie stars, music stars,
and people like that in our ranks as our public face,
boy, that makes us really attractive to your average Joe or Jill out there."
And he was absolutely right.
And so, I could see her kind of following that lead as well.
In late 2017,
I was contacted by a woman who works in communications,
and she said, "Hey, can we talk on the phone?"
"I have a story I think might be interesting to you."
"It's about a fast-growing company run by women in the wellness space,
and it's called OneTaste."
And this was in 2017, and the #MeToo movement was just getting going.
And I remember the way she pitched it was,
"You know, this is a company that's gonna help people
connect with each other in a way that is gonna help mitigate
some pain we've seen come up with the #MeToo movement,
because it helps people be more sensitive to each other's needs."
And I mentioned to a friend of mine that I was considering writing about OneTaste.
And my friend told me, "I know somebody you should talk to."
"They used to be a customer of this company
and they had a pretty bad experience."
So, I ended up having a long conversation with this person for several hours,
hearing their story.
And at the end of that, I thought to myself,
"Wow, this is really different
from any of the reporting that's out there about OneTaste currently,
and this might be a big story."
When you are looking at Nicole,
you're looking at Nicole and she's looking back,
and she locks into your eyes,
it is like you are being completely seen, like, down to your soul,
including everything, yuck and all, especially yuck.
And while you're being, like, embraced in this gaze,
also being, you know, picked apart like you're under a microscope.
And so she starts playing this game with me, which is pulling desires.
And so she says, "What do you want?"
So, you know, she's fish… She's pulling them out, so I say,
"I want to have more sex, I to have want more orgasm."
"I want to have more fun, I want more community."
So, she's going, "Come on, what else?" This is how this goes.
And so, finally, I get down in my belly, in my womb, to like,
"Wow." And I had never spoken it out loud, and I said,
"I want to have a baby."
And I was like…
And she's like, "Not so fast. What else?"
I was like, "That's it."
"What else?"
And so finally I say, "Okay, I wanna have a demo."
A demo is a demonstration of a woman in orgasm for an hour.
And Nicole goes… And she looks around.
"Did you hear that? We hit bottom."
"That was it. That's the bottom desire."
And so, here I have said, in front of all these people,
that I wanna have a demo,
knowing full well that that was not at the bottom.
That was Nicole's desire.
So, I was just fully giving over to Nicole.
The type of personal reflection that they encouraged us to do
was all about finding your deeper desire.
Yet, they would do this complicated psychological thing
of inserting their desire into you and telling you that it's yours.
What's your real big desire?
What's your real big, deep desire? What turns on your pussy?
I want to coach and teach for OneTaste. Fuck, that's awesome.
"This is how Nicole manipulated people."
"She agreed that something was true if it matched what she wanted to hear."
"If you said something she didn't like, she called it a lie,
or, 'That's not the end of your desire.'"
"If you had any doubt, she knew how to increase that doubt
until what she told you was true became what you believed."
So, Bill and I pay Nicole $15,000,
which, according to Nicole, at the time was a very good deal,
and my course begins.
A lot of people described to me going to some event
where they were first exposed to OneTaste,
and maybe there was an explicit pitch for the company or taking a class.
I'm gonna have one of our sales associates Lindsay come up and talk to you
about a special offer for all of you for attending tonight,
and also for being on the web.
And then the pitch just gets bigger and bigger.
"Why don't you take this week-long, intensive class?"
"Come and learn from Nicole, or come help us teach a class."
"Why don't you come help us with sales?"
We need an initiation ceremony or something edgier.
We need something that they are locked in,
they are in for the full weekend, for the full ride.
Rachel would be pitching the $15,000 coaching program.
And at the time, I was just barely making ends meet as a freelance writer,
but somehow, it felt so good to meet with her for a sales call anyway.
I told her in the beginning, "I don't have money, I can't buy anything,"
and she just made it feel good to come hang out with her and talk about my life.
And similar to my experience with Nicole,
I felt so good and so seen afterwards.
So when she asked, "Do you want to take the coaching program?"
"We can put you on our payment plan,"
I found myself giving her my credit card before I even realized.
So I gave her, you know, this card.
It was $1,000 a month, which put me into debt immediately.
But then afterwards, I had to justify my purchase, and that put me in deeper.
I've had people describe to me this sales tactic of,
we play some sort of communication game like hot seat.
Someone's sitting in the middle, being asked a bunch of questions.
And in the back, OneTaste staff are taking notes.
They're writing down, you know, "This person's recently divorced."
"This man feels unsure how to approach women."
And then they strategize about who's the best OneTaste staffer
to be sent over to that customer to try to win them over.
Imagine you come to me and you say, like, "Well, yeah, I'm interested in OneTaste
because, you know, I've had trouble keeping a long-term relationship,"
and I'd ask you something like,
"Can you imagine if that were true for the rest of your life?"
You make the pain bigger,
so that what you offer as a solution sounds more appealing.
Nicole's very brilliant at seeing wounding.
And so that's what she hooks into,
and then becomes the salve of that wounding.
So then, you're not feeling the wound when you're in her presence,
but you're reliant upon her to guide you.
And then, on top of that, there was this very strong connection between
how well you were doing spiritually in the OneTaste teachings
and your ability to sell courses.
They really saw that as connected, they thought that
a more turned-on woman would sell courses better
because they would be projecting their turn-on to the customers,
where it was almost like channeling this divine force
that would help you in such an earthly pursuit as closing a sale.
"I'm a turned-on pussy,
feeling and savoring every stroke going through me,
sent back out with power and love to shine."
Yeah!
We were supposed to talk about cock,
like, talk about, like, crass, nitty-gritty sexual stuff,
'cause that's hot, that's what we're trying to do at OneTaste.
You know, it turns people on
when they get that flutter in their stomach
when you just said, like, "cock" or "pussy,"
which actually probably, like, embarrasses people.
I don't know if that's turn-on or discomfort.
At one point Nicole is, like,
"We're gonna teach this thing called 'orgasmic rebalancing.'"
And she did a demo of what orgasmic rebalancing was.
You know, you can kind of see from the footage,
the closest thing would be like reiki, where you're moving energy in the body.
I'm sure the footage… I haven't looked at it in a while,
but I'm sure it looks crazy.
I was immediately taken by Nicole.
I thought she was just very charismatic,
but at the same time, I could see that she was a hustler.
Tell me a bit about that. Is Nicole Daedone a con artist?
Yeah.
You got to dissect that word though.
It means "confidence."
It's like, yeah, she can say things in such an enthusiastic way
and have so much knowledge around it that she is a fantastic salesman.
I am interested in letting my body be used
in the transmission of the experiences that have been given to me.
There is an experience of beauty
that one feels when something is in harmony.
This was that kind of beauty.
Today, I am immersed in it.
I feel here that there is something inside of me connected to everything.
There's an intimacy that I feel with my partner, the bed, the plants.
The world becomes one giant network of neurons,
and this entity that I call Nicole is part of this.
If you're looking at that footage from the Stinson demo,
what you're seeing is…
batshit nuts. Come on.
Someone's up there, completely naked, getting her pussy stroked,
there's someone with snakes there and…
Right? Like, all this stuff… Like, what is going on?
And to me…
…all that stuff was just there to create a certain kind of aura
for the people in the room, like investors.
I wonder if the New York Times reporter was there.
The Stinson Beach demo,
it's very intense. It seems like…
Sometimes she's laughing, sometimes she's crying.
There's a lot of moaning.
You hear people in the audience expressing their sensations.
You know, "It's like a warmth in my belly, or like a tingling in my face."
Rachel Cherwitz shepherds some of the audience members up
to, like, touch Nicole's thigh while the demo is going on.
They describe it like it's meant to be like
you can feel the energy of this experience.
You realize, "Holy shit, I'm actually experiencing things
in tandem with this woman who's getting stroked in front of me."
"Like, I'm actually feeling stuff in my body too."
And even though I think most people would watch that and think, like, this is
bananas…Um…
it looks like the people in the room feel like something really is happening.
I hope you really got a sense tonight
of what it's like to have a woman, a fully-trained woman, get off.
And see the places that she can go.
It's just unmatched.
I mean, there's nobody else that… who I stroke,
that can do what she does,
and I want all of you to be able to do what she does.
I'm in agreement.
Please. Me too.
When I took the course,
by that point, we had both female and male OMing,
and my partner was very skittish about doing a male.
So, Nicole stepped in personally,
and I had a meltdown.
I started shivering, crying.
Tears were rolling down my cheeks.
Then she sort of moved me to her breasts and started stroking my head.
And the part of me that wasn't having a meltdown,
the rational little control center there,
was thinking, "Oh yes, Nicole, I know what you're up to."
"You're making yourself my mommy."
"You're holding me gently, tenderly in your lap
next to your breasts, and stroking my head and looking lovingly at me."
"You're trying to imprint me as mom."
It didn't work.
I guess if I didn't have that little skeptical bit in my consciousness,
maybe I would've really bonded with her. Maybe I would've gone all in for OneTaste
and been one of her really fervent members and defenders.
But I didn't.
You're all welcome to come get stroked,
and we have darshan from 11:00 to 1:00, Monday through Friday.
and it would be my honor to stroke anybody in this room
and have you have…
If you look at Zen Buddhism or any of these things,
there's levels of being ready for the next piece of truth.
Whenever it became public that there was also a male stroking practice,
all the men were like, "I want that, I need that."
Like, "I empathize with what these women experience about starving."
"I'm starving too, I wanna get stroked as well."
And it would become a quagmire.
So, we kept it private.
As soon as that was on the table, it changed everything.
So we just had it not be, "It is not on the table."
"It is not on the table that there is a male stroking practice."
Someone joked around, "Oh, it's like a spiritual hand job."
And right, so that's the problem, is,
it can devolve into a hand job,
and we wanted it to be something very different than that.
Like, a woman stroking a man's penis brings up a whole bunch of cultural things
that the reverse simply does not.
What it means for a woman to be a sexual service provider
and for a man to be in the position of being
on the receiving end of sexual service providing.
So, like, you couldn't just have them reverse and say, "Now this is OM."
It ends up not being an OM.
We have a female identity in our culture, right?
The female is the victim.
And if I, in any way, don't buy into that,
then there's only two options with victim.
There's villain.
Your practice session where women are being OMed,
orgasmic meditation, by men who are not present,
don't know who they are, aren't clear in their sense of purpose.
A woman cannot open her legs to a man at that level,
and I think it's really important for you or someone who's highly trained
to be here in these practice sessions.
When the man impresses his shape into her, her whole body feels that,
her whole consciousness is ignited,
but I think that you need to tighten up the practice sessions.
What you say, for me,
feels like, uh, protection of women
in such a way that it continues an idea that we need to be protected.
And that idea keeps me not taking responsibility for my sex.
So, I have a story, and I am no victim.
The problem with the victim story,
it takes away your power.
If you wanna know the real way to deflect rape,
it's to turn on 100%.
Because then there's nothing to rape.
Nicole had some very barbaric messages
when she talks about the darkness that she has
or the darkness that she came from.
Trauma is just stuff that's stuck in the body that needs discharge.
I think what you do…
I mean, this is gonna be my suggestion every time, is you OM a lot.
As you OM, whatever is in there begins to come out.
It just progressively and gently opens you and releases,
and then you can just face and be rid of, face and be rid of.
And then pretty soon what you just notice is your capacity to sit in pain decreases,
and you just gotta get that shit out fast, and then you're clear again.
You know, my dad was a child molester,
and he had experiences with young girls and used me as bait.
And so that exact behavior…
Whoa, of me colluding with somebody who would cause harm.
And I got that seed out.
I got free.
I could forgive everybody in the whole experience
'cause I got free of that.
I think I told the story in here when I was a stripper
and they put a knife up to my throat.
Nicole's biography is kind of a matter of mystery.
You're never really sure what's actually true.
I think her biography went through a lot of revisions
as the company became more and more prominent.
But she did talk about having worked as a stripper.
Well, I have great cred. I come from darkness.
She was a very highly paid call girl.
She would tell stories about, you know,
getting $700 for a trick, I think is the term.
Then she had a thing where she would play around socially with people,
like, mess with their heads.
Guys, especially.
Friend of mine was like, "Oh, she's a monster."
"She's a monster." Like, "Stay away from her," and stuff.
And that was very intriguing.
We had done some LSD earlier one day, and she proposed to me.
Having your wife be a sex cult leader was like…
It was pretty interesting for me.
It's like, I was totally ready to go buy a Harley and ride up the coast
and be in a sex cult, are you kidding?
And take LSD. I totally wanted to do all that stuff.
Our mission plan, our business plan was this:
800,000 people trying to practice orgasmic meditation,
10,000 people at the level of mastery, or teachers,
and a center in the major cities, all the major cities of the world.
Rob Kandell was Nicole's first business partner.
He was a guy who used to work kind of in a tech-finance job,
and met Nicole, and they decided to start OneTaste together.
When I first met Rob, he was married to Carol.
They were part of Nicole's little cadre of followers.
Nicole wanted Rob for his unending devotion,
and also his bank account.
You know, he was kind of like a nebbish-y guy, looking for approval,
and Nicole had a really good sense of style,
and so she would groom him, so he became hot.
I was stroking a hot young thing on a warm Tuesday morning.
She would borrow things from Scientology
or, like, these different cults,
even going back to stuff like Lifespring and est.
The shamans say that a medicine man begins by falling into the power of demons.
Now, in Kabbalah, it's called chesed and gevurah.
In the darshan…
There's a thing called Satguru…
The desire sutras…
It's sacred…
In the more esoteric practices.
I want to go see Amma.
Zalman Schachter-Shalomi.
Kalimah said… Wilke said…
Think about the Buddha.
Malcolm Gladwell.
Rumi. BKS Iyengar. Krishnamurthy.
The Tibetan Buddhist…
Sort of like Mother Teresa.
A universal sanctuary light-bearer.
Shabbat. The love of Jesus.
That is religion, and the dukh has it.
All of this fucking crazy shit about sacred and spiritual and woman.
Usually, if you touch the absolute, you have this realization.
The realization is, "I am God."
One taste, which is a Buddhist concept.
The Buddha said, "Just as the ocean has one taste, the taste of salt,
so also this teaching and discipline has one taste, the taste of liberation."
My religion really is orgasm.
By "orgasm," what I mean is, like,
this underlying something that seems to move through the world.
When you walked into OneTaste,
most people have one definition of orgasm, the common definition,
a sexual climactic experience, right? That's orgasm.
And then you go into an OM class, and orgasm kind of changes a little bit.
Like, it's not just the event of climax.
It's like climax is one of the eight stages of orgasm.
And then orgasm starts to mean something more like qi,
energy that flows through the universe and flows through you.
If you follow it, you'll be more in tune with nature, and that was also orgasm.
Most people don't realize their definition of orgasm
is changing week to week or month to month.
And at a certain point, by the time I was leaving,
God became synonymous with orgasm,
and orgasm was Nicole.
I looked at her and I said, "You're starting a religion, aren't you?"
And she goes, "Yeah, I want to start a religion, but the thing is,
you can't sell God because you can get God on Amazon."
"What I'm selling is sex, because you still can't get that."
So, it wasn't a long leap from there that the priest ceremonies began.
I get a call from Nicole saying,
"Mike, OneTaste is going to be doing something
we call the Magic School, and I would like your help with it."
"We'd like you to help out with some rituals we wanna do."
"Help design them, help stage them,
and we want to initiate
some Priests of OM."
The cynical part of me says,
"Okay, well, if she got it successfully incorporated as a religious body,
well, you know, no taxes."
She said, "We want to have myself
and the other main women who were involved with this
sort of being the initiators, being the Goddess figures,
taking the men into the whole thing and saying, 'You are now a priest.'"
When someone becomes a priest,
they're agreeing they're stepping into kind of a different level of life,
and really it was a way for us to just feel super bonded and connected
and, like, part of something that we were super committed to.
I volunteered so I could get into the room and see what it was like.
Otherwise, it would have cost, I think, at least 15 grand,
maybe 30 grand.
I said, "What you guys should be wearing is
black face coverings, wraparound."
"But below that, nothing."
What this is communicating is you are the Goddess, this female force
that's faceless, that's egoless, that's now saying to these guys,
"I welcome you to be my servants."
And I remember watching and just feeling this power.
I said, "I hope this is working on other people, 'cause it's working on me."
"I'm feeling this Goddess energy, I'm feeling this, you know,
that sacred female sexuality."
These Priests of Orgasm
would do the OM practice in this ritualistic fashion,
where they kept, like, moving from woman to woman.
Nicole was a showman, you know?
She's got a little bit of P.T. Barnum in her.
I sort of joked to myself and I said,
"Well, she's trying to put together the sexy Illuminati here."
And it was interesting being around 200 young, beautiful, very turned-on folks
that were attending it.
They were paying a pretty penny for it.
I could easily imagine the gross take for the five days
being about a million dollars.
But they were getting their money's worth, I think.
"God, in His wisdom, selected this group of men and women
to be purveyors of His goodness."
"He went not to the proud, the mighty, the famous, or the brilliant."
"He went instead to the humble, to the sick, to the unfortunate…"
Rachel was head of sales
and she was this powerful figure within the company.
I'm Rachel and I teach Dark Arts.
Yeah!
I would say… I would say that is the fourth-dimensional class that I teach.
The third-dimensional class that I teach is sales.
Very close to Nicole. She was like Nicole's right-hand woman.
Watch this. Come on.
See, you do that and she comes closer.
And she inspired a lot of admiration because
she really projected this sense of being a woman who was really,
like, in charge of her sexuality.
All right, so, Rachele… Your time has come, my dear.
I didn't write anything.
Oh, see what I mean?
She didn't write anything either. We have another pussy channeler.
Yeah!
Oh, pussy.
Pussy!
She's so…
I can touch her, right?
You guys really are my family.
And I've been thinking all week how to say it,
like, how to just say how good it feels to be here.
And to be ignited…
and turned on, and have that be from a very authentic place.
So, I think that's just what I wanted to say.
Rachel was willing to do anything Nicole wanted her to do in terms of, um,
advancing OneTaste and protecting OneTaste.
When I was 25, I was told by a therapist that I was anorgasmic,
meaning, like, I couldn't climax.
As a woman, if I have to go through life not enjoying sex, what's the point?
So, in my first OM, I felt this one moment of electricity,
and I thought, "Oh, that's what it means to be a woman."
She was also kind of Nicole's enforcer.
That was important because as Nicole rose and rose in stature,
a guru has to kind of stay above the fray.
You're gonna do it quick, like… Where's Raphael?
Quick like a bunny. Quick like a bunny.
Good?
Good!
We're excited?
Yeah!
We're gonna stay…
Sane!
OneTaste employed a lot of people who
hadn't really gone into their careers yet.
People were jumping at the chance to be working at a startup about sex.
People were waking up at 7:30, going to OMs,
going to a staff meeting right after that.
There was no boundary between work and the other things we did.
When I was hired, I was told I would get
20% of the revenue that the New York branch made,
which was a lot of money at the time.
It seemed like an obscene amount to be getting paid.
OneTaste New York was bringing in ten to $20,000 a day sometimes.
So yeah, that was a huge amount of money.
Later I found out, "No, it's actually 20% split up amongst five people."
Later it was, "Oh, 20%, but only if you help with a certain sale."
Like, it kept changing, and every time I asked what our compensation was,
I got a different answer, and sometimes it'd flip back on me,
like I was being a jerk for asking about money or being money-focused.
I was told to OM with people when we would have arguments.
It was this very, like, deep part of the philosophy that
if you're not getting along with someone
or if someone constantly rubs you the wrong way,
then you're supposed to fuck them.
Did you have to do that?
I felt like if I didn't,
I wouldn't be important, and I wouldn't get attention.
And I was very much wanting to be
higher, like, management level at OneTaste.
So, there was that period of time where I did things that were suggested.
It was operating in a sphere of such unusual
interpersonal dynamics, right?
So, usually the relationship between you and your manager
is not one where your manager is going to tell you who to have sex with.
Yeah, there's an adage at OneTaste.
"When the sensation is high, you can either fuck or fight."
And one time I had this tension with one of my co-workers,
and Rachel said something like, "Right, this, no, we're not doing this."
"You guys go have sex, don't come back to work till you've done it."
She and I, like, walked out.
We were both looking at each other like, "Is this… Like, this is really strange."
"Is this okay?"
"Like, our employer who is telling us to have sex."
It was also part of OneTaste culture that you were encouraged to do
emotionally challenging things or uncomfortable things for your growth.
So, this was like…
Yeah, we had this very awkward sexual experience
and then went back to work, and that was that.
Whenever there was a course, there were always women from OneTaste,
because the courses were always male-heavy.
So, you had to get the women, you know, to partner with the men
and have their pussy stroked so that all the men could have partners.
There were, you know, ten men and two other women who had signed up.
By the way, often the women didn't have to pay,
or had to pay very little to be in courses,
but we had the guys pay full amount.
They were paying for it, so if there's only two women,
we need eight more women to pair up with these other guys.
Where are they gonna come from?
So, that'd be us.
For the women in the community,
they were willing, and yet,
it's not like we had a choice.
When I talked to many ex-members,
they would describe something that an outsider might look at and think,
"Oh, you were being told to have sex with a customer
in the hopes that that customer would pay money to the company."
And I get the impression that within OneTaste,
it didn't seem so obviously bad.
There were other explanations. It was like,
"You should have sex with this person because
your orgasm is kind of blocked up these days
and you need to blow your lines clean by having sex with a lot of people."
And this is advice coming from someone above you in the group
who seems like they really have their sexuality figured out.
So, maybe you wanna take this advice, maybe you want to do it
because you're like, "Well, maybe it'll help."
We would get shamed for being a victim.
She used this semantic trick of reframing
to make really scary reframes.
For instance, no value judgment to rape,
no value judgment towards predatorial men.
So, you know how we have the t-shirts, like, "Powered by Orgasm"?
This could be our new shirt:
"I got raped and all I got was a victim story."
Or it could be like, "I raped someone and all I got was a perpetrator story."
When people later try to make sense of what happened to them in this group,
they think, "Well, it was all my fault, because I could never be a victim."
I question my experience there all the time,
trying to figure out what actually happened.
Describe your sex.
Sort of craving more and, um, reluctantly coming out.
So, it felt like, for me as a queer woman,
that there was all of this pressure to be either feminine or masculine.
So a lot of the things that I thought were wrong with me and I needed to fix
had to do with not being feminine enough for OneTaste,
not behaving like the other women.
You know, I'm a woman who works backstage. Like, I wear a tool belt.
I do things that are considered pretty masculine.
So, I was sort of teased a lot.
Preference is an unconscious, habituated response.
So the only thing that you're ever held bondage by is your own set of beliefs.
On the other side of every single one is freedom.
That's what we're looking for.
And we're not looking for it by only going to places we like.
The places you hate are your practice.
They're the places where you… They're actually your biggest gift.
They're the places you get free.
This was me teaching a class of BDSM.
I loved teaching it. It was really fun.
So these are kind of two of my passions,
Disneyland and BDSM.
You look at these things and you think,
"How could anybody possibly enjoy being beaten with a flogger?"
But if you can separate from the judgment of good, bad, right, wrong,
and just feel the sensation of it,
then you can actually just enjoy it.
Like, we all have primal urges, you know?
We all have the desire to just ravage someone
or to be ravaged by someone.
I felt that pull, I felt that desire.
I had a lot of conditioning and coding telling me that that desire was wrong,
and OneTaste allowed me to overcome that, in a way.
Uh, that's after a scene with Nicole, I think.
And that's where the initials came from.
These two floggers and the single-tail were Nicole's.
You are always going to be a desperate slave to women.
Thank you.
You blink your eyes a lot because
you're unwilling to put your attention on anybody but yourself.
Thank you.
You're inept in the cafe.
Thank you.
You'll never make it out of the bounds of your tight personality.
Thank you. You're fat.
Thank you.
They did a thing called "killing,"
getting under people's skin
and saying the things that are gonna dismantle them emotionally.
And I remember we had a team meeting where
this particular woman was being groomed to be, like, the next Rachel.
Like, she was very articulate, very attractive.
And because she was struggling with really surrendering to OneTaste,
she was getting hammered by Rachel and the other staff members.
'Cause we knew each other's secrets, like,
we knew our vulnerable parts, we knew where people were insecure.
They were just saying all these things to her that were so biting
that it was beyond the point of tears for her.
When she finally looked up from crying, she was, like, dead.
That's why it was called killing. She was blank.
Like, 'cause her ego was gone. And that was abusive.
And one of the things I really regret was not backing her up in that moment,
because I actually felt shitty in that moment.
It wasn't like I look back on it and felt bad.
Like, I felt bad in that moment,
but I convinced myself it was for her own good,
so I didn't say anything.
Somebody was saying to me
that the people here don't have very skillful scalpels, you know?
And we don't, but we all agree to slash each other…
for a higher purpose.
There was a woman who was wanting to leave.
So Nicole sent Bill and I down to go and kind of work her over
and get her to stay.
And she was really upset,
and she was just telling us that she didn't trust Nicole,
and that she felt like this was not the right place for her.
Bill told her that he thought…
"You know, Nicole's all about honesty,
and so you should go and tell Nicole that you don't trust her."
She starts telling Nicole she doesn't trust her.
Nicole starts breaking down crying.
"I can't believe you're gonna leave me."
"I can't believe you're just gonna abandon me like that. I can't believe it."
Nicole's, like, sobbing.
This woman's like, "No, no, no. No. Nicole, I would never leave you."
"Okay, I'm gonna stay."
She leaves the room.
Instantaneously, the tears dry.
Nicole looks at us and goes,
"That didn't go the way you thought it was gonna go, did it?"
Love and affection and energy are given and withdrawn strategically
in order to create dependence.
And, you know, it's like if you leave,
you'll never have access to those things again.
I do know with one individual, basically, while he was tripping,
they had him have a personal experience
and then tried to get more money out of him,
convincing him to give them another quarter million or something.
People were getting hurt.
People were getting hurt badly.
I saw her starting to take more and more license.
And what it is is that she would just become fascinated
with what she could get people to do.
You know, that was her entertainment.
That was kind of, like, her secret thrill, is, like, having control over people.
She did some things with some of her staff people.
She would make them watch lions, like, hunting in a pride, ripping things apart,
and she'd go like, "We're like that."
"We're the lions, we aren't doing anything wrong."
"That's how we eat."
The "beast," this violence, this rage that gets normalized.
People were encouraged to be psychologically brutal with each other.
The first time that they do something vicious towards someone else,
people get encouraged.
"Yeah, you really showed your beast."
There's the knowledge that you've done something awful,
but now you've completely rewired what good means and what evil means.
I had a regular, and he had this thing where he wanted to strangle me.
His beast was locked in there and it hadn't had a place for expression,
and I just happen to love beasts.
I had to surrender so deep that I could absorb him all the way in.
And invariably, all of a sudden, it'd hit this point, and he'd just start bawling,
and that was all…
And he paid me a lot of money to just come strangle me and cry. That was it.
We think they're so tough, they're just little love bugs crying.
They're just our little companions that wanna love us.
They're just tough because they're met with fear.
You know, my dad died in prison for 52 counts of child molestation,
and I never took on the idea that he was a bad person.
I took on the idea that he was just so expansive and fourth-dimensional
that he couldn't confine himself into the arbitrary laws of the third dimension.
That was his only crime in my mind.
Now, other people may have different ideas. Uhhh…
Describe your sex.
There's a lot of anger in my sex.
Um… And there's also a lot of sweetness.
And I'm hoping to bring even more anger in.
OneTaste was encouraging women
to appreciate the predatorial nature of male sexuality.
And that's supposed to be some very evolved practice.
Help!
There was a term often used called "skillful violation."
You're not really violating what she wants,
you're violating what she says she wants.
Stop!
The idea of letting out your beast was basically
the equivalent of, like, being a savage or just, like, being totally expressed,
which is a pretty common idea in personal development.
I think it was healing for guys
who maybe, like, had so-called Nice Guy Syndrome.
In many ways it was healing.
Obviously, everything in OneTaste was taken a little too far at times.
My name is Autymn Blanck,
and I am here to tell the story of my sister,
that she was in a cult,
and her experience of going through that.
So, my sister and myself,
we were both raised in a very traumatic childhood.
Some things happened to us, sexually,
and I know my sister struggled with having sex, having connection,
and having just that community and love,
because we didn't really have that as children.
And so, when she talked to Rachel, someone older than her
who went through the same exact experience,
and she said, "OM has cured it all,"
of course, that's the path that my sister went down.
"Why not try it?" I suppose.
This is my sister before all of it happened.
You can tell that she's very happy
and there's a lot of light in her eyes, still.
When I had gone to visit her,
like, the light had disappeared from her eyes.
And that's when I really knew something was wrong.
These people would tell her that she needed to go sleep with all these men,
or she needed to OM four to five times a day
to release herself from the trauma of her childhood.
My sister started sending me journals when she got out of OneTaste.
It was part of her therapy.
"I woke up today, filled with rage. Rage at my boyfriend."
"He punched me in the face and split my lip
and bruised my eye."
"At first, I was shocked. We had fought many times before,
but I had never thought he would go that far."
"I found little sympathy."
"This, I was told, was my fault."
"I had forced him to do it."
"His beast was only fulfilling what my body had asked him to do."
"Since I was a survivor of childhood domestic violence,
this was my pattern and what my body was asking for."
"He was only doing as my body asked,
and now I was shaming and blaming him for doing what I had asked for."
"I looked around the room. All eyes were downcast."
"Nobody was willing to stand for me."
"I never spoke again about the other times he hit me or dragged me around."
"Looking back now, I can't believe I stuck through it."
"I so wanted to believe he would change."
"I was told that sometimes our soulmates must do violent things to help us grow."
"It was only a way to condone violence."
"They did not want me to, one, go to the authorities,
two, have my boyfriend leave and take his money with him."
"This evening, this community member let his beast out."
"He picked me up, my arms pinned to my sides,
and began to shake me in front of everyone."
"Nobody did anything
as he screamed at me how he would like to rape me, beat me, use me,
that he knew where I slept and he would find me in the night."
"I was reprimanded afterwards for showing fear in the face of his beast."
"A true turned-on woman
would have taken his beast's cry for help with grace and love."
"I look back on it now and I'm not surprised
I was unable to sleep anymore,
that I left my body to survive."
After my story came out in 2018,
general readers, many of whom had never heard of OneTaste,
a lot of them were pretty shocked.
It's kind of a wild story, and I think it tugs at people's heart strings
to see people who are looking for answers in their life
ended up more jumbled
and more confused and more hurt than before.
And then separately, the response from the community was very strong.
You know, I heard from dozens of people after the story came out,
and they were really moved to see that a national magazine had captured
this very dark, sometimes shameful experience that they'd gone through
that they'd sometimes struggled to explain to their friends.
There were impacts at the company right away.
The CEO, Joanna Van Vleck, stepped down.
She remained at the company, but she stepped down from her role as CEO.
They stopped doing the coaching program, which was their flagship course.
They stopped holding in-person classes, and they started going virtual.
Press "How to OM,"
then you'll find the OM 101 online free class.
And then a few months later, you know, I got a call from a source saying,
"Yesterday I got a knock on the door, and it was two FBI agents,
and they wanted to talk to me about what happened at OneTaste."
I think it's fascinating to think about people who think that
if only women ran the world, then everything would be perfect.
But this group, which had almost, like, a matriarchal spirit
from the very first day that it was started,
still fell into these patterns of alleged abuse of power.
I'm back in Tucson, where I grew up.
I'm about to have a phone call
with an FBI agent who's based out of New York.
He contacted me about two months ago.
They were really pushing this idea that
it's inherently natural for men to be predatory,
and that we should, like,
be welcoming of the predatory nature of men,
that we should find it hot, attractive.
And so when that thing about them
finding some strangers to rape her happened,
totally made sense to me as far as what the conversations I heard
and the behavior that I witnessed.
At one point, my sister called me.
She had been forced upon multiple people,
and that her boyfriend had beat her,
and she was at the bottom of the stairs, vomiting.
And I remember just sitting there being, "What are you doing?"
And this was right before she got out,
and I think this was one of the last things.
And I remember just crying on the phone,
"Why? Why are you doing this?" Like…
"I never wanted to OM with other people."
"I never wanted to have my body touched."
"It all was forced, and my body feels filled with shame and disgust."
"I remember being told not to go to the hospital,
that all the shaking,
the vomiting, the weightlessness, the sickness was just an orgasm."
"It was me alchemizing trauma and pain from when I was younger,
that if I just stuck with it,
I would ascend to my next level of awakening and freedom."
This is your sister's body reacting to
the sexual assault and the beatings.
Yes. Yes. Yep. Yep.
And the sexual assaults and the beatings,
and I think the manipulation
of trying to convince someone that that is right.
What prompted you to tell her story when she couldn't?
I want other people to see.
I want to potentially stop…
I wanted to… speak out for someone who couldn't speak for herself.
I wanted to tell the story of someone that was, I guess, silenced in all of it
and pushed under the rug,
and I had the availability to do so,
and I only hope that other people don't fall into it,
and that other people see this
and understand that it's just… it's, it's not worth it and it's dangerous.
"When I decided to leave, I went and talked to Nicole."
"When I arrived at her apartment,
it was like the rose-colored glasses had finally fallen off."
"When I told her how the organization had hurt me and continued to hurt others,
when I told her it was a cult she needed to fix it,
she acted innocent and confused, shocked even."
"She insisted she had no idea."
"Either she is an idiot and so completely lost in her lack of reality
she doesn't allow herself to see it,
or she's deeply twisted and very sick
and finds it perfectly okay to use, abuse, traumatize, and destroy others' lives
for her own personal gain."
I was having a hard time, having left OneTaste and living on my own,
and I was questioning a lot of their practices.
It was all very rattling to me, because as soon as I left,
I kept hearing things.
I think as a result of, like, having this lingo and these secret words…
when I left that,
I could almost not understand the way that other people spoke.
So, I'd just hear, like, a word out of nowhere when there was no one around.
For basically two years after I left OneTaste,
I kind of accepted that maybe I had ruined my life.
I couldn't really think straight.
It was hard to relate to normies, you know.
So all I could really do and feel sane was blue-collar work, working with my hands.
And yeah, I kind of entered this space
where I accepted maybe I had fried my brain.
I mean, I think it just took time.
When the Bloomberg article came out
it made a lot more noise than I expected.
Obviously, my parents freaked out
'cause they read about me being in a sex cult.
A private investigator left a bunch of voicemails late at night.
He was kind of insinuating I was gonna be in a lawsuit.
Would your sister be here today telling her story if she could?
She would, yes.
My sister always wants better and always pushes forward,
and right now, she is getting her PhD
and living the best life that she can, in spite of everything that happened.
Not because, but in spite of.
People who used to be in OneTaste
are always curious about what exactly is going on with the company now.
There's still OneTaste staff members who live at The Land,
which is their farm in Mendocino County.
So, I've heard that Nicole is living up on The Land,
she's back in the United States and that she's at The Land right now.
I'm surprised that she came back,
given that there's an active FBI investigation.
The times that I've gone back,
it's like I know that I was in a cult
because I automatically feel… like I'm back home
and I wanna stay there forever.
And they're not actually… Like, they never cared about me.
I basically took a swan dive into this project
without really… um… thinking of
how people will feel when they see it.
Yeah.
And how do you think people will feel?
I have no idea. Like, that's something that's really hard to gauge
with OneTaste and Nicole.
You know, we have that precept of, "Stay connected no matter what."
"I'm so tired of hearing it,
that 'you are such a smart girl. How could that happen to you?'"
"'How could you let that happen?'"
"They start off with love. Experts call it 'love bombing,'
bringing you into the fold, making you feel special and seen,
cared for and valued."
"Then they pull it away,
push you down to the very bottom,
expel you from the community, take away your access to purpose and meaning,
and even at times, take away your connection to God."
"We cling to this idea that we have control,
that people who are abused and manipulated are somehow dumb or lesser,
that they should have seen it coming."
"What I see now is those people who believe
that this would never happen to them
are only grasping for control,
clinging to this idea
that they would never allow this to happen."
I want the people who are capable of understanding what OneTaste was…
to know this thing existed,
this thing that had somehow
called each of us out of the lives that we'd been living.
I can't even say what that thing was exactly.
It was sex, it was orgasm, it was exploration, it was growth,
it was fear,
it was trauma.
It was all of these things, like, woven and wrapped together.
And while we were in it, it lit us up
in a way that we had scarcely even dared to imagine that we could be lit up.
I think it's important for us to understand,
what is it about a group like OneTaste that people are drawn to?
The things that all people want.
Love, connection, belonging.
Who wouldn't want those things?
And at the same time,
if you have a leader and a culture that goes too far,
things can become dangerous.